


Is It Too Late (to apologize)

by WhimsyNeptune



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst, Drama & Romance, F/F, Forgiveness, Jealous Lena Luthor, Love, Mistakes, No cheating
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-28
Updated: 2018-09-19
Packaged: 2019-07-03 17:03:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 23,996
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15823194
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhimsyNeptune/pseuds/WhimsyNeptune
Summary: Lena held her breath and hoped for the best.Kara:This afternoon, at 3… Noonan’s? We can talk there.Lena squealed.Lena:I’ll be there.





	1. Chapter 1

The reveal had gone horribly. Lena had felt betrayed, and she’d lashed out without giving herself time to process… Which led to a heart wrenching break up.

Looking back now she didn’t even understand why she’d reacted so severely…

Kara was Supergirl… so what? What in god’s name did that change? That should have, if anything, made Lena love her more, and it did… once she got passed her initial (misplaced) anger.

She hadn’t even been angry at _Kara_ either. She was mad at herself for not providing an environment where Kara felt safe enough to tell her. She was mad at herself for letting a pigtail and glasses disguise her girlfriend for over two years. She was angry at herself for being mad at herself, but she was never genuinely mad at Kara.

But she let her ego get the better of her. She’d broken up with Kara, moved L-Corp to Gotham, and never responded to Kara’s calls or texts. Never answered the door when she came knocking, never let her in when Jess informed her that Kara was there to see her at her new office.

Nothing.

Because she was ashamed.

Ashamed of her initial reaction. Ashamed of how hurt she’d made Kara feel for no logical reason. Ashamed of the vitriol she spewed in Kara’s direction all because of a secret she’d had _every right_ to keep to herself.

She was never mad at Kara, never even upset with her, but she’d been furious with herself, and lashed out at the wrong person.

_“So you’re Supergirl?” Lena had snarled._

_Kara nodded, tears caressing her cheeks. “I-I wanted to tell you Lena, but I was just so scared I’d put a bigger target on your back, and I-,”_

_“A bigger target? I’m a fucking Luthor_ ,  _Kara. There is no bigger target. You were just being a selfish bitch! But what’s to be expected of a Super, really? It shouldn’t’ be that shocking to me. You’re just like your cousin.”_

Lena grimaced at the memory, knowing that it only got worse from that point on. Hating herself for ever talking to Kara in that manner. But she intended to make up for it all. Kara was the love of her life, and even though it’d been a year and four months, and she messed up horribly, she knew that she was the love of Kara’s life as well.

Her driver pulled up in front of Kara’s apartment building, and Lena got out, hoping and praying that this wasn’t the stupidest idea she’d ever had. She inhaled deeply to abate the swirling in her stomach and stepped into the building.

She reached the stairs that led straight to Kara’s floor, and her heart flipped in her chest with anticipation for what was to come. She was excited, terrified, and anxious all in one.

She knocked on the door. Once. Twice. Three times before the door opened.

And, Lena knew it’d been a while since she’d seen Kara, but she knew this wasn’t her. “May I help you?” The man asked.

Lena stood there frozen for a moment before she realized that the man had asked her something. “I’m sorry… I-… I think I have the wrong building. Is this 2345 Crawford Street?”

The man furrowed his brow. “Yeah?”

Lena’s heart plummeted. “Oh! Good! I’m looking for Kara Danvers! Is she here?”

“No.” The man cocked his head. “She moved out ten months ago.”

Lena’s stomach sank a bit deeper. “Do you have a forwarding address?”

“Yes.” The man replied incredulously.

“May I have it please?”

“You the ex?”

“I…” Lena paused, confused. “Yes?”

He nodded and smiled. “I don’t know what you did, but whatever it was, thank you, You’re the reason I got such a cheap deal on this place.”

Lena frowned. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, three months after you left she put up an ad for this place and I got a great deal on it.” He grabbed newspaper off of a desk by the door and handed it to her. “See?”

Lena looked at the ad in the magazine and felt ill. “ _Looking for a buyer for a 1400 Square Foot loft. It has two beds, one and a half baths, a balcony, a large eat-in kitchen. Looking to sell for cheap. Just need to leave because of a bad break up. Please call 374-4750 to schedule a walk through_.”

She looked at the man. “I hurt her that badly?”

The gruff man shrugged. “Don’t know. Seems like it though. You want that forwarding address or not?” He asked.

All Lena was capable of doing was nodding her head, because she wanted that address more than anything, but her entire body was on fire with guilt because of how hurt Kara seemed to be.

She accepted the offered address and thanked the man with a curt nod before running down the steps and to her waiting car. Once she was in the back seat, she handed her driver the address and sat back impatiently waiting to reach Kara’s new home.

 

**XXX**

When they reached the address, Lena was shocked to find that it was in the upscale part of town. It was in a neighborhood quite like her own. The houses were three stories or more; they were made of stone with grand fountains and large driveways.

Lena’s driver pulled into a smaller driveway that led to a house far less elegant than the others, but still quite nice for what it was. The siding was a beautiful deep brown, the black metal roof was high, triangular, with one side slightly longer than the other. And was covered with black shingles. There was a small chimney sat on the edge of the house. There were quite a few large windows (most likely to let in as much light as possible for Kara’s Kryptonian liking).

“Please wait here, Stefan.” Lena requested as she exited the Mercedes and walked up the steps to the front door.

She rang the doorbell at the side of the white door and hoped that wherever Kara was in the home, she would be able to hear it.

Within three seconds, the door swung open and there stood Kara. “L-LENA?!”

Lena crossed her arms over her abdomen and squeezed herself. “Kara. Hi.”

Kara glared. “What are you doing here, Lena? It’s been over a year!”

“I-I know that, but… I was just wondering if maybe you’d like to get some coffee sometime? Perhaps just to talk? I’ve missed you.”

Kara scoffed. “You’ve missed me? _Really_? You made it perfectly clear that you wanted nothing to do with me. You can’t just break up with me, disappear, refuse to acknowledge my existence for over a year, and then show up at my doorstep unannounced and say you miss me. You broke my heart, Lena.”

“I know.” Lena agreed, “I screwed up. I screwed up _majorly_ , and I hate myself for it more than anything, but I can’t not see you. I’ve missed you so much, Kara.  
I left National City because I was angry, and at the time I thought it was at you, but the more I started getting settled in Gotham, the more I realized I was actually angry at myself. For a multitude of things, like the fact that you didn’t feel safe enough to tell me. That I didn’t realize that you were Supergirl sooner. Etc.  
You had every right to keep your identity a secret, and I’m sorry it was forced out of you the way that it was, but I need you to know that I am sorry for the way I acted, and I’m sorry for hurting you.”

Kara sighed and shook her head. “I can’t do this right now; you should leave.”

Lena felt like she’d been punched in the gut, but she had prepared for this. “If you wouldn’t mind, maybe sometime during the week we could meet up, and talk?”

Kara sucked on her bottom lip for a long few moments, before nodding. “I guess that would be okay.”

Just as she said that there was a voice that called out from behind. “Sweetie, who is it?”

Lena’s stomach lurched, her heart tore in two as a hand grabbed Kara’s and she was met with her ‘best friend’ kissing Kara’s cheek.

“SAM!?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was requested to write a fic where Kara was with someone unexpected... I hope this qualifies.
> 
> Let me know what you think?


	2. Chapter 2

“Lena? What are you doing here?” Sam asked indifferently.

“I-,” Lena trailed off. “I wanted to see Kara.”

Sam guffawed. “You mean like the over four hundred times she tried to see you? Every day for 5 months until she finally gave up because you threatened to get a damn restraining order? She went to you three times a day, every day, for five months, Lena. You don’t deserve to look at her, let alone speak with her. There’s only so many times you can push someone away before they stop trying to be with you, and you reached your limit!”

“I thought you had the hots for James!” Lena yelled at Sam. “Why are you smooching on Kara?”

Sam furrowed her brow. “Well, because we’re _dating_? Which, I’m sure you would have known if you’d stayed in contact with anyone. You didn’t even say goodbye, Lena… You abandoned us _all_! Me, Alex, Ruby, and most importantly _Kara_. You destroyed her for months, Lena! You had no right to treat her the way that you did, and moreover, you had no right to abandon everyone, especially Kara, for something so stupid!”

Kara shook her head and stepped in between the quarreling ex-best friends. “Stop it! I’m not a damsel in distress, Babe. I can take care of myself.” She asserted.

“Sorry. I’ll go inside and let you handle this. But don’t forget we have dinner with your sister tonight.” Sam announced loudly.

Lena broke at that revelation. Sam had Alex’s approval… which meant that there was no way in hell that they’d just gotten together. They’d had to have been together for at least two or three months… _minimum_.

“She hates me now… Huh?”

Kara made a ‘so-so’ gesture with her hand and then laughed half-heartedly. “She was pretty pissed when you left.”

“I should have called her… I should have called you too, but I was so ashamed, Kara… I knew that if I looked at your face, I’d lose it. The guilt still eats me up to this day. I should have never threatened you with that restraining order. I should have done a lot of things differently.”

Kara nodded. “Yeah. But the past is the past I suppose. We’ve moved on, right?”

That comment chipped a little bit more at Lena’s heart, but she nodded. “Of course!” She lied.

“Well, I have to get around. Sam, Ruby, and I have to get to Alex’s by six. Give me your number, and I’ll text you so we can schedule that coffee, okay?”

Lena frowned, hating that this was what she came back too, but she nodded and did as requested, giving Kara the number she’d switched to in an effort to avoid Kara getting in contact with her. “I will talk to you soon?” She asked hopefully.

Kara nodded. “Yes. Soon. See you later, Lena.”

Lena smiled sadly. “I’ll see you later.” She replied before turning back towards her waiting car.

As she walked away, it took everything she had in her to stop herself from crying… Kara was happy without her, and although that broke her heart, Lena refused to interfere with it.

“You have a lot of nerve.” Sam seethed behind her.

Lena turned around to see Kara had already gone inside and frowned. “Sam, I’m sorry that I never called, I was ju-,”

“ _Soooo ashamed_.” Sam mocked. “Yes. I heard. I heard your bullshit excuses for your cowardice, and I’m here to tell you to stay away from her. You’ve hurt her enough.”

“Why are you even with her, Sam? Just to spite me?” Lena asked, anger running through her.

“No,” Sam stated firmly. “I’m with her because you abandoned us both, and we helped each other cope, and eventually along the way, we fell in love. That’s why I’m with her. Not everything is about you. You would understand if you were actually here to see the fall out of your rash exit. It was bad, Lena… Really bad, which is why I need you to stay away from her. You’re just going to bring back up old hurt, and she doesn’t deserve that. She deserves happiness, and that’s what I’m giving her.”

Lena’s heart was on fire with envy, guilt, and regret. “If you are making her so happy you have nothing to worry about.”

Sam shook her head. “I have Kara, and I will always worry about her. I’m not jealous, in fact, I’m perfectly secure with where our relationship stands, but I cannot, and _will_ not let you hurt her again by disappearing after you have become friends again, because you will. She’ll forgive you eventually because she’s such a kind person, and as soon as she does, she’s going to start caring for you again. So don’t do this. Don’t come back and make her care about you if you’re just going to lave us all over again.”

Lena had tears falling from her face; her heart was in pieces. “I’m moving back to National City, Sam. I’ll never hurt her again.”

Sam stared at her for a few moments, seeming to be appraising her sincerity. After a few moments, she sighed in resignation. “You don’t deserve her, but you aren’t going to hurt her again so I can’t interfere.”

Lena swallowed back the lump in her throat. “Really?”

Sam sighed and pinched her temples with her index finger and thumb. “Really. I don’t want her to be friends with someone who has no respect for others, but I can’t stop her.”

Lena’s heart yearned to hug Sam, to apologize and make amends for her past wrongdoings, but by the looks of it, it was going to take years for that to happen. So, all she could do was say how she felt. “I’m sorry that I hurt you, Sam.”

Sam scoffed. “Actions speak louder than words, Lena… and your actions say otherwise.”

 

**XXX**

Three days later, Lena was still awaiting Kara’s text, and although she was anticipating it, she was also straightening everything out with her company.

So, she was knee deep in paperwork when her phone finally went off.

She immediately ran to her cellphone and unlocked it to read the text.

 **Kara:** _Hey, it’s Kara._

Lena smiled, her heart alight with joy from finally receiving the text she’d been longing for.

 **Lena:** _I never lost your number darling. I knew who you were. :)_

 **Kara:** _Oh. So you **could** have called…_

Lena’s heart fell.

 **Lena:** _Kara, I wanted to…_

 **Kara:** _But you didn’t, and you made me feel like an ass for trying to get to you._

 **Lena:** _Please give me a chance to earn back your friendship._

Lena held her breath and hoped for the best.

 **Kara:** _This afternoon, at 3… Noonan’s? We can talk there._

Lena squealed.

 **Lena:** _I’ll be there._

**XXX**

Lena sat in the dining room at Noonan’s a little before 2:30… just in case Kara showed up early too.

She sat and thought back on all the dates she and Kara had shared there. The kissing, the whispering, the giggling. She missed it all. She wanted Kara back more than anything, but Kara’s happiness meant everything to her, and she was happy with Sam, so Lena decided that she’d take the high-road and go back to pining for Kara in the silence the way she had before they’d gotten together.

Soon enough, the clock hit 2:56, and in stepped Kara Danvers in all her beauty. She was breathtakingly gorgeous as she walked over in her flannel shirt. “Hi.” She greeted Lena as she sat down across from her.

Lena’s heart skipped a beat. She smiled. “Thank you for seeing me.”

Kara shrugged. “I’d like some answers, you want to give them, so I guess this is mutually beneficial.”

“I’d first like to start by ordering you a coffee. Is that okay?” Lena asked nervously.

Kara nodded. “Sure. That’d be nice.”

**XXX**

After Lena had ordered their coffees, they sat in a long, awkward silence until finally, Lena could no longer take it. “I’m sorry.”

Kara inhaled profoundly and fiddled with er glasses as she nodded. “I know.”

“I need you in my life, Kara.”

“Why now?” Kara asked irritated. “You had over a year. Why now?”

“Because I missed you more than I could ever imagine.” Lena shook her head, reminding herself not to tell Kara how she truly felt. “I missed you as my best friend more than anything,”

Kara nodded. “So, why were you so angry with me? Why threaten to have me arrested? Why threaten to get a restraining order? Why not instead of having Jess do all the talking to me, come and just tell me how you felt? Regardless if you wanted to be with me back then or not?”

Lena let out a shaky breath. “I threatened you because I was scared. I refused to see you because I was ashamed, and I knew that if I saw your face, the guilt would consume me. I was a coward, and I couldn’t face you even when I wanted to. I know I hurt you, Kara, believe me I do, I hurt myself right along with you, but I couldn’t face you. I hate myself for the way I reacted, and I am honored to be friends with Supergirl, I just wish that you felt safe enough to tell me.”

Kara shook her head. “It had nothing to do with that, Lena. It had everything to do with me being scared that you would be an even bigger target than you already were if you knew my identity. I wanted to tell you, but every time I got ready to, my fears kept me from doing it. But it was my secret to tell, and your mother using my identity to (successfully) break us up was not part of the plan.”

Lena swallowed a hot gulp of her coffee. “I’m sorry she did that.”

Kara shrugged. “You made your own choice, not your mother.”

And oh did that hurt to hear. “I-I know that.”

Kara nodded. “I know you do. I’m just saying; it wasn’t your mother’s fault you left.”

“You’re right. It wasn’t. It was mine, and I am sorry, Kara.”

“I know you are, and I’m trying to forgive you, but it’s hard,” Kara admitted, her voice shaky. “You have no idea the unimaginable pain I went through when you left me, Lena. Alex tried her hardest to be there for me, and it worked, but she didn’t know you the way I did. Only Sam and she was going through the same betrayal I was, so we started to comfort each other. Alex helped, she really did, but not the extent that mine and Sam’s mutual bonds to you did. Even with Sam though, it took forever to get over you.”

Lena’s heart broke… Kara was over her. “How long?” Her voice broke, so she cleared her throat and started over. “How long have you and Sam been together?”

Kara smiled the first genuine smile of the night at the mention of her new relationship. “Four months officially.”

A knife jabbed into Lena’s chest… She’d come back four months too late. “Oh. So right at a year after I left?”

Kara nodded. “About nine months after you left I started realizing that I had feelings for her, but I wanted to make sure they were serious before I did anything about them, so I waited three months to be sure. Then when the time came, I asked her out, she said she’d been wanting to ask me out for months, and the rest is history.”

Lena hated this. Hated that her ex-best friend and her ex-girlfriend were together. Hated that Kara was with someone that wasn’t her. Hated that she had hurt Kara so severely… She hated everything about this damned situation. “That’s lovely.” She lied. “I’m happy for you,”

Kara’s smile grew brighter. “Thank you, Lena. That means a lot.”

Lena smiled, glad that her opinion still meant something to Kara. “You’re welcome, Kara. I just want you to be happy.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think! I hope you enjoyed!


	3. Chapter 3

They sat and talked for a few more hours talking about what they’d missed the past sixteen months.

Kara didn’t like how she felt around Lena… She felt the pain of her abandonment all over again, but she also had so many things she wanted to know. She still didn’t understand why she would run, to begin with. Nothing seemed to make sense, Lena’s reasoning did not excuse what she did in Kara’s opinion.

Sure, the running she could get, she could even understand Lena ignoring her for a month or two while she processed the information… but the threats? Disappearing for a _year_? None of that made sense to Kara, and quite honestly the way Lena just popped back up and expected an apology to fix everything made Kara angry. What the hell did she think was going to happen?

 

**XXX**

Two days later, Lena was sitting on her couch, longing to cuddle with Kara, but then she remembered that Kara snuggled with _Sam_ now… and her heart shattered all over again.

She decided that if she couldn’t hold Kara anymore, she could at least text her.

 **Lena:** _Hey_

She waited for a response for about fifteen minutes and then texted again.

 **Lena:** _How is your day going so far today?_

She got a response instantly.

 **Kara:** _It’s going fine. Yours?_

Lena smiled and hoped that her next move wouldn’t be too presumptuous.

 **Lena:** _I’d like to talk to you about it in person… brunch?_

She only had to wait a moment before the response came.

Kara: Sorry, can’t. Brunch with Sam today.

Lena’s body felt limp with jealousy as she responded.

 **Lena:** _Oh. That’s okay, another time then._

 **Kara:** _I’m free Thursday for brunch if you are. It’d have to be at the office though because I will have to get right back to work._

Lena smiled as she replied.

 **Lena:** _Sounds perfect. I’ll be there._

**XXX**

 

It was that night when she realized what Kara being in a relationship with Sam meant… It meant that she was likely having sex with her. It meant that they kissed and cuddled and held hands. It meant that the love of Lena’s life was doing everything that Lena wanted to be doing with her, with someone else.

It meant that Lena was about to get sick with jealousy.

She knew that she brought this onto herself. Knew that this was all her fault. Knew that if she’d just stayed there and roughed it out they would still be together, but it didn’t make any of it less painful.

Kara Danvers was kissing someone else, and that knowledge alone made Lena want to die.

**XXX**

Lena walked through the elevator doors on the thirty-eighth floor of CatCo, and all eyes focused on her.

Everyone there knew about her past relationship with Kara. Everyone knew that she’d broken Kara’s heart, and everyone there loved Kara… so the glares she received weren’t unexpected, but they still stung. Although she knew she deserved them.

She walked down the halls until she found Kara’s office, the one where they’d spent so much time together when she owned CatCo. She let out a long, deep, steadying breath and knocked.

The door opened a few moments later to show Kara smiling back at her. “Hey.”

Lena’s heart flipped as Kara stood in front of her with her hair done in a professional bun. She was wearing a pink top, black slacks, and a brown belt… she was the epitome of gorgeous. “Hey,” Lena replied as she lifted up two take out bags. “I brought food.” She smiled nervously.

Kara smiled and stepped aside to let her in. “Good, I brought an appetite.” She laughed hesitantly.

Kara sat behind her desk and gestured for Lena to take the seat opposite her. “Please, sit.” She insisted.

Lena did so and placed the two bags on the desk between them. She smiled as she emptied the contents of the first bag. “I got you your favorite.” She announced as she placed the container on the desk.

Kara squealed. “Potstickers!”

Lena giggled and nodded. “Potstickers.”

“Thank you!” Kara said sincerely. “I’m going to devour these.”

Lena smiled as her heart fluttered from making Kara happy… That’s all she ever wanted to do.

 

**XXX**

They were having a great conversation about the new direction. Cat was taking CatCo, when something caught Lena’s eye… The picture on Kara’s desk was not the one of Kara giving Alex a noogie; it was of Kara and Sam… kissing.

Lena’s stomach churned, her eyes burned with tears and her heart tore in two… she needed to leave.

“Well, I suppose I shall go back to the salt mine.” She said, hoping to sound as nonchalant as possible.

Kara nodded. “Yeah, you probably have a lot of C.E.O things to attend to.” She teased.

“I’ll see you soon, yes?” Lena asked hopefully, her heart in her throat as she fought back tears.

“Sure. I’ll text you when I’m available.” She answered.

Lena smiled shakily. “Yes, Please do.” She replied before turning to leave.

“Are you okay?” Kara asked. “You seem off all of a sudden.”

Lena turned around and smiled, fighting back a sob that threatened to rip out of her throat. _No, I’m not fine. You’re in love with someone else._ “Yes, I think that the chicken in my salad was bad.” She lied.

Kara frowned. “Do you need anything?”

 _Yes, you._ “No,” Lena said. “Just some fresh air. I’ll see you later.”

With that, she was out the door and into the elevator, where she finally let herself break down.

 

 

**XXX**

Kara wasn’t sure what to make of Lena’s newest behavior. She wanted to hate her, to not want a single thing to do with her, but she was acting like the Lena she had been best friends with, and that Lena was someone that she could never turn away no matter how hurt she was. So, instead of fighting Lena at every turn, she decided to let things play out and see where they ended up… Who knew? Maybe they _could_ be friends again in the distant future.

**XXX**

**Kara:** _You home?_

 **Lena:** _Yes. Do you need something?_

 **Kara:** _Open your door._

Lena immediately did as asked, it’d been a week since she saw Kara and she was dying to hear her beautiful voice again. She rushed to the mirror, fixed her lipstick and hair as fast as she could and then ran to the door and opened it.

“I brought ice cream!” Kara singsonged.

Lena giggled. “What brings you out tonight?”

Kara shrugged. “Sam and Ruby are at parent-teacher conferences tonight, and Alex is working late at the D.E.O so I figured I would come say hi… with ice cream.”

Lena smiled. “Rocky Road or Butter Pecan?”

Kara smiled conspiratorially. “Both.” She whispered.

Lena mock gasped. “Are you trying to fatten me up, Miss Danvers?”

Kara chuckled. “With your workout routine, you’re as safe as me on that front.”

They both laughed for a moment before Lena sighed, all she wanted to do was lean in and capture Kara’s lips with her own… but she didn’t get to do that anymore… Sam did.

“Which do you want first?” Kara asked. “Butter Pecan?”

Lena nodded. “Butter Pecan.”

They talked and ate, and even laughed, and it felt just like it had felt when they were friends until Kara sighed and put down her carton of Rocky Road. “I can’t do this. I can’t pretend I’m not mad at you. I can’t lie to you and say that I’m not still hurt because you left… because I am, still mad, and I am still hurt.”

Lena nodded, her chest clenching with regret. “I understand.” She said honestly. “I hurt you in a way no one else has ever hurt you, and because of that you have every right to hate me.”

Kara shook her head, “I don’t hate you, but I am still hurt, I’m still angry, and I just thought that you should know that.”

Lena nodded. “I do, and I tend to do whatever it takes to earn back your forgiveness.”

Kara shrugged. “I just need time.”

“Time away from me?” Lena asked.

“No. Just… time.”

Lena nodded. She could live with that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Will Kara ever be able to forgive Lena?


	4. Chapter 4

The next time Lena saw Kara, it was four days later. They had texted back and forth occasionally, but their schedules had been too busy for them to meet up until now.

When she saw Kara’s beautiful face, Lena’s heart skipped a beat, but it immediately dropped when she saw the frown residing on it.

“Kara? Sweetheart, what’s wrong?” Lena asked immediately as she walked over to Kara’s table

The blonde gestured for Lena to sit down.

“I screwed up. With Sam, I mean... I screwed up big time.” Kara cried.

Lena was _absolutely_ sure that nothing Kara could do would make Sam angry enough to cause this reaction, so she knew immediately that this was Kara’s self-deprecation talking. “What happened? I’m sure that whatever it is can be resolved. Sam loves you.” Saying those last three words were like a dagger to the heart.

“I told Ruby that she could go to a friend’s house, but I forgot to let Sam know… She was terrified when she got home, and Ruby wasn’t there.”

“Where were you?” Lena asked.

“I was at Alex’s going over new training techniques for the D.E.O agents.”

“So, shouldn’t that have been Ruby’s responsibility to tell her mother where she was going? She’s sixteen now, Kara. She’s old enough to send a text.” She soothed. “Kara, darling this is her fault, not yours. Yes, you could have made sure she knew, but it was Ruby’s responsibility if she knows her mother wants to keep tabs on her.”

“She’s going to leave me, Lena. I don’t want that.”

Lena’s heart ached at the sight of Kara’s heart belonging to someone other than her, but Kara needed a friend, and Lena was there. “She won’t, Kara. I know that for a fact.”

“I should have told her.” Kara cried. “Why didn’t I just tell her?”

Lena wanted to cry… Kara was so in love with Sam that a simple mistake set her off into a frenzy of fear… but that was obviously a side effect from the break up of her relationship with Lena. “Hey, Kara… Kara shh. It’s okay.” She cooed. “It was a simple mistake. One that Ruby had the option to mend had she chosen to do so. This isn’t your fault, and Sam will know that.”

Kara shook her head. “I should have told her, Lena.”

Lena didn’t know what to do, Kara seemed terrified that she was about to lose her girlfriend, and although it killed Lena to do it, she had to help.

“Would you be mad?” She asked. “If you didn’t know where they were for a few minutes?”

“No. I’d be happy they were okay,” Kara replied confusedly.

Lena nodded. “And don’t you think that that is how Sam feels too?”

Kara shrugged. “I-I don’t know, as soon as I told Sam what I did, and she called Ruby to make sure she was okay, I flew out the window and came here.”

“Ah,” Lena said. “So, she didn’t even say she was angry with you?”

“I-… No.” Kara frowned. “But, that’s her daughter, Lena. I shouldn’t have intervened.”

“You two live together, Kara… I think you have a right to intervene if it’s that serious already.” God that tore Lena to shreds… Kara was living with someone else… which meant they’d most likely gone farther than Lena wanted to think about.

Kara shook her head. “We moved in together as roommates about three months after you, and I broke up. When we started dating, we just kept things the way they were because it worked out well.”

“So… you two haven’t…”

“Had sex?” Kara asked, her face flushed.

Lena coughed. “I-… Sorry, curiosity got the better of me.”

Kara shrugged. “If you really want to know I’ll tell you. It’s not like it’s that big of a secret. She and I are two consenting adults, so of course we have.”

That was it. Lena couldn’t handle it. She had to get out of there. “I have to go, I just remembered something I forgot to do at the office. I’ll talk to you tomorrow, okay? Go home and fix things with your girlfriend.”

Kara frowned, “Wait… Lena, what’s wrong?”

Lena shook her head. “N-Nothing. I just really have to go.” She said as she scrambled for the door.

As soon as she reached the backseat of her car, she broke down in tears... She hated every single part of this situation.

 

**XXX**

Lena was working in her office when she heard boots touch down on her balcony. “You left in quite the rush.” Kara started. “It got me thinking.”

“Oh? About what?”

“How hard it must’ve been for you to be with me.” Kara replied. “I always left our dates like that. Suddenly, without any explanation, or at least not one that made sense… It was rude and annoying. Just like you tonight.”

Lena frowned. “I always thought it had to do with you being a reporter. I didn’t think anything of it.”

Kara shook her head. “Don’t lie, Lena. I know it had to be difficult sometimes.”

Lena shook her head, because honestly, it wasn’t. Being with Kara was the best thing that ever happened to her, and the random exits were never enough to ruin her happiness that Kara’s love caused. “I’m being honest Kara. My love for you was strong enough to handle it without much thought.”

“Well, either way, I’m sorry I did it.”

Lena shook her head. “You were saving the world, that was far more important than dinner dates and chess tournaments.”

Kara lowered her head and smiled. “We were good together though, weren’t we? We made such a great team.”

Lena nodded, her heart yearning to reach out and touch Kara… but they hadn’t even hugged yet. Much less held each other. “We were the best.”

Kara nodded, a regretful smile on her face. “Do you ever wonder what it would be like right now if you hadn’t left?”

 _Every day_. Lena thought

“Sometimes.” She said instead.

Kara nodded. “I do too.” She paused, “Is that a bad thing?”

Lena laughed. “No, darling… Curiosity is normal. Nothing you could ever do would be bad.”

Kara smiled and sat down beside her on the couch. "You were right about Sam." 

"Told you so," Lena teased with a wink.

"She was mad at Ruby, not me."

"And rightfully so." 

Kara chuckled and shook her head. “Anyway, there was something I wanted to ask of you. Something that I'd like to stay between us.”

Lena cocked her head, ready to listen. “Anything.” She replied honestly; because she _would_ do _anything_ for Kara.

“I don’t want to scare Alex or Sam until I know that there's something to be scared _of_ , but I’ve been experiencing some pain in my stomach lately, and it won’t go away. That’s not normal either, because I am supposed to be invulnerable to everything. I've tried to think of any way to stop the pain, but everything I try to do just seems to make it worse. I tried human Tylenol all the way up to Morphine and Fentanyl, but they have no effect on me. I know it's a lot to ask, and I know you're just getting settled back into National City, but I have no one else i can ask with the resources and intelligence that you have. You can say no, but... would you mind being my doctor?”


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not by any means a doctor, all research and knowledge I have came from Google.... so please bear with me.

“You trust me enough to do that?” Lena asked. “After everything I put you through?”

Kara shrugged. “You broke my heart, not my stomach.” She joked.

Lena smiled sadly. “I’ll never be able to apologize enough for that. You deserved so much more from me than abandonment.”

Kara smiled tensely. “Well, we’ll get past it together.”

Lena’s heart flipped. “Just the way it should have been from the beginning.” She said breathlessly.

“We can’t change the past, Lena. But we can move forward from it, so let’s get down to business. What do you think the problem is?”

Lena puckered her lips. “There could be a problem with the way your body is intaking the sun’s radiation. Much like your Evil Doppelganger from Earth X.”

Kara frowned. “But it’s my abdomen that hurts. Not my heart.”

Lena nodded. “I know, that’s why I am going to do whatever I can to figure out what is going on. It might just be a simple bug that you are no longer immune to.”

Kara nodded. “Alright. Can we start tomorrow?”

Lena smiled through the worry she was feeling and nodded her head. “Of course, we can.”

 

**XXX**

They met in Lena’s lab the following day, Kara in a pair of sweatpants and a loose t-shirt, Lena in a pantsuit and her lab coat. “Okay. So, the first test I think we should run is just a simple blood analysis. We’ll get the levels and then go from there. What do you say?”

Kara bit her lip. “How are you going to get my blood?”

“Oh don’t worry, no kryptonite. I have a red sun lamp from when we…” She cut herself off and cleared her throat. “I have a red sun lamp.”

Kara nodded. “Okay. Blood work it is.”

 

**XXX**

Kara laid on the medical bed under the red sun lamp, arm bared and ready for Lena to prick with the needle when she said something that took Lena’s breath away.

“You look beautiful today, Lee.”

Lena almost dropped the needle. “Th-thank you, Kara. You always look beautiful.”

Kara smiled and shook her head. “No, I don’t, but thank you for trying to make me feel better.”

Lena frowned. “I’m sure Sam thinks you’re always beautiful.”

Kara chuckled. “Except when I have morning breath.”

 _I never cared about your morning breath._ “Oh?”

Kara nodded. “She says my morning breath could wake the dead.”

 _It really isn’t that bad unless you forget to brush your teeth before bed._ “I’m sure she’s just teasing.”

“No.” Kara laughed, “She really won’t kiss me until I brush them.”

A sure of anger towards Sam rushed through Lena… Why would she be so petty? She had the luxury of Kissing Kara Danvers; she shouldn’t squander it. “Well, that’s her prerogative I suppose.” She said as calm as she could. “Now, you’re going to feel a little pinch, and it’ll be all over, okay?”

Kara nodded and then flinched slightly as the needle inserted itself into her vein. Lena watched as the dark red blood entered the vile and decided to change the subject. “Your blood is darker than a human’s.”

“Is it?” Kara asked as she looked at the bag. “I don’t really ever see it so I wouldn’t know.”

Lena huffed out a laugh. “I’d say that’s a pretty good thing, wouldn’t you?”

“Not knowing the color of my blood?” Kara asked thoughtfully. “Yeah, I suppose that is.”

 

**XXX**

They were waiting for the tests to come back when Kara brought up another topic that Lena wasn’t ready to deal with. “Have you been seeing anyone?”

 _No, because you don’t love me anymore._ “No.” Was all she could manage to say.

 “Why not?”

Lena pursed her lips, trying to find the right words. “The one for me isn’t an option.”

“Who is this mystery person?” Kara asked, curiosity evident on her face.

Lena let out a sardonic laugh, knowing that she couldn’t tell her the truth. “That’s for me to know and you never to find out.”

The machine buzzed, signaling that the test results were ready. Lena looked them over and frowned. “Let’s get you into the Cat Scan.” She said as calmly as she could manage.

 

**XXX**

She was terrified about what they were going to find in the imaging. The results of Kara’s blood analysis came back with twice as much ionized radiation than there should have been, which Lena could fix quickly, but what she couldn’t fix was tumors… and Kara was complaining about pain.

She looked at the scans, each one making Lena’s heart fall further and further into the pit of her stomach… Kara didn’t just have one tumor… She had eight.

“What’s wrong, Lena? Is it bad?”

Lena bit her lip to stop it from quivering. “I… Um… I think it’s time we worry your sister and Sam.”

Kara frowned. “Oh.”

 

**XXX**

Alex had verbally assaulted Lena the moment she answered the phone, “Why the fuck are you calling me?” Alex asked. “I don’t know who you think you are. But you can’t just break my sister’s heart and disappear for no reason. Come back, and expect all to be forgiven.”

Lena sighed, realizing just how many people were no longer fond of her. “Alex, you can beat my ass later, right now this is serious, I need you to come to my lab.”

“And why the hell would I do that?”

“It’s Kara, Alex… She’s not well.”

 

**XXX**

Sam and Alex both showed up around the same time, and Lena had told them everything she knew, and about why she couldn’t do the surgeries herself… she had no medical degree, and Alex did.

Now, it was time to explain this all to Kara and hope she wouldn’t take it as hard as all three of them were.

**XXX**

“I need surgery?”

Alex nodded. “Kar’, your body is fighting against the ionization in your bloodstream, which can be fixed, but the tumors are all over in your abdomen, and they need to come out first, but we can’t let the sun heal them and spread even more radiation through your body. You’ll have to stay here or at the D.E.O until the surgeries are finished, and you heal under a red sun lamp. After that, we can give you a serum that will regulate the radiation in your body and help your body rejuvenate itself with the Sun’s rays again. Your cousin had to do this before too.”

Kara looked terrified as she clung on to Sam for dear life… but it wasn’t Sam she looked at for advice. “Lena? What do you think I should do?”

Lena’s heart swelled with joy that Kara cared about what she thought. “I think you should listen to us and let your sister remove the tumors asap.”

Kara gulped, kissed Sam’s forehead and nodded. “Let’s do this.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Will Alex and Lena be able to fix Kara?


	6. Chapter 6

The surgery had started off terrifically until Alex accidentally nicked an artery… which set back Kara’s recovery time to two weeks.

Now, Alex, Sam, and Lena were all sitting around Kara’s bed side; hoping and praying to anyone that would listen that Kara would wake up from the surgery. They were all waiting impatiently until Sam got a call from Ruby’s school and she had to make an abrupt exit… Leaving just Alex and Lena.

“I don’t like that she came to you instead of me,” Alex admitted. “I hate that she felt like she had to hide it.”

Lena shrugged. “She just didn’t want to worry you.”

“But why you? After you abandoned her the way that you did, why would she come to you?”

Lena frowned. “Because she knows that I’d never turn her away again.”

Alex shook her head. “And I would?”

“I don’t know why she came to me, Alex. I really don’t, but I’m glad she did because she would’ve been dead within a week’s time if she hadn’t,” Lena replied.

Alex nodded. “I know… That’s the only reason I’ve decided to give you a second chance.”

Lena’s heart flipped… If Alex forgave her, that meant Kara would soon too. “Oh?” She asked, not willing to let her hopes get too high.

Alex nodded. “You saved her life. I can’t hate you now.”

“You’re the one that operated; I just ran the tests.”

“The tests that led me to do the operation. You’re the one that found the tumors. We both saved her life.” Alex asserted. “So, thank you.”

Lena smiled. “I’ve always cared for your sister, Alex… and I always will.”

Alex smiled and was just about to speak when her D.E.O. Pager went off. She looked at it and frowned. “I gotta call in and see what’s happening. I’ll be back.” She said as she stood from her chair and left the room, leaving Lena alone with an unconscious Kara.

Lena looked at Kara’s motionless body and frowned; she hated how pale and sickly she looked in the red light of the sun lamp. She rose her hand and brushed it through Kara’s hair as she spoke. “No matter how sick you are, you still have to be gorgeous, don’t you?” She whispered.

When she got no response, not even a twitch, she decided to do something foolish, something she’d never do if Kara were awake… Confess her love. “I miss you Kara.” She started. “I miss the way you made me feel, I miss the way you looked at me when I did something that made you fall in love with me a little more. I miss the way you felt against me when we’re cuddling in bed at night. I miss kissing you, Kara. I don’t know how to apologize for what I did enough, so I’ll start by saying I’m sorry. I’m sorry I left, I’m sorry I didn’t fight for us, I’m sorry that we’re not together.   
I hurt you, and I hurt myself by hurting you. I can’t change the past and what I’ve done, but I can say that I won’t make the same mistake twice. I know that I made a mistake, Kara… A terrible, horrible, cruel mistake that broke more hearts than just my own, that broke our relationship… But I need you to know that I still love you and that if you give me a sign that I could still have a chance with you, I’ll fight harder than anyone to get you back.” She sighed, and took Kara’s hand in her own, raising it up to her lips so that she could place a chaste kiss on the palm. “It’s the most painful thing on the planet to be so in love with you and not being able to see you every day. There are so many times that I would give anything just to be able to gaze into your eyes or hold you in my arms even just for a few moments.   
I always feel incomplete. Like a part of me has vanished when we aren’t together. I know that right now this is how things have to be, but it doesn’t make it any easier to handle. Every day I have to spend without you as mine just reminds me of the happiness you bring to my life, happiness that I have been missing from the moment I broke both of our hearts. So please Kara, wake up and love me. I know that Sam is amazing, I know that she’s strong and loyal, and independent to a fault, but I am all of those things too, Kara, and I’m the only one here.” She swallowed back her tears. “I guess what I’m trying to say, Kara… Is that I’m still irrevocably, undeniably, in love with you, and watching you with Sam is destroying me.” Just as she finished her soliloquy, Alex came back.

 “Sorry… Is she okay? Why are you crying?” Alex asked worriedly.

Lena smiled, her heart aching as she waved her hand to dismiss Alex’s worries. “She’s perfect.” She croaked.

Alex nodded. “Good. Good. Sam just texted me; she’s on her way back. Ruby just got suspended though.”

Lena furrowed her brows. “Ruby? That doesn’t sound like her.”

Alex shrugged. “Everyone gets into trouble from time to time.”

“Yeah, I suppose you’re right.”

 

**XXX**

It took thirty two hours for Kara to wake up, and to no one’s surprise, the first name to come out of Kara’s mouth was Sam’s.

Lena watched enviously as Kara kissed Sam heatedly… Her heart broke, her legs were shaky, and her stomach went queasy.

She couldn’t take it anymore, and she ran to the bathroom, locked the door, and slid down it as tears caressed her cheeks.

Sobs ripped from her throat as teas stained her cheeks.

There wasn’t going to be a happy ending for her, she could feel it in her gut.

Kara loved Sam. Sam loved Kara, and there was nothing she could do to change that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you think Lena is right?


	7. Chapter 7

Lena knew that having Kara in her basement for the next two weeks was going to be difficult, mainly because she was the only one that would be there most of the time.

Sam was busy working at her new job running the National City branch of Wayne Enterprises, and Alex was busy running the D.E.O. So, it was up to Lena to keep Kara company and run L-Corp from the basement.

“You don’t have to be here.” Kara croaked out. “L-Corp can’t survive without you.”

Lena smiled sadly and brushed her hand over Kara’s hair. “Quite frankly, I don’t care. You are what matters right now.”

Kara sighed. “I should have waited and gone to the D.E.O. for the surgery. I knew this would be too much of a burden on you.”

Lena shook her head. “It’s not a burden when I want to be helping you, Kara. I want to know that you’re okay.”

“Alex could make sure I’m okay too.”

“Her job is far more important than mine,” Lena admitted. “You have no reason to feel guilty, Darling.”

“You’re not bothered by it? I just didn’t want to have tumors inside me any longer than they had to be.” Kara admitted. “I really am sorry about all of this.”

Lena chuckled. “You’re sorry that you contracted a Kryptonian form of cancer?”

Kara frowned. “I guess when you put it like that it sounds silly.”

“Because it _is_ , Darling,” Lena replied. “Very much so. You have nothing to be sorry for at all.”

“Okay.” Kara resigned. “But do you think I could have something to eat? I’m starving.”

Lena frowned. “You’re on a liquid diet for a few more days, Kar’.”

Kara groaned. “I hate this.”

Lena’s heart ached. “I know, sweetie. I know.”

 

**XXX**

Lena understood that Sam had a daughter. She did, really… but that daughter was sixteen and able to look out for herself for a few days, so why was it that Sam was spending more time worrying about her daughter than about her girlfriend that had just had a massive surgery?

Sam had spent all of two hours in the past three days with Kara… not enough.

“Is she coming?” Kara asked weakly.

Lena bit her lip and stared at the text.

**Sam:** _Running late, might not make it. Tell Kara I love her._

Lena gritted her teeth together. “It looks like Ruby’s recital went longer than expected.” She replied sweetly.

“She doesn’t like seeing me like this,” Kara informed. “She said it is too hard to watch.”

Lena scoffed. “You don’t think it’s hard for Alex and I to see? You’re just skin and bone, Kara… but I still watch you because I lov- er… because I _care_ about you.”

Kara smiled sadly. “She loves me too, Lena. Her daughter will always come first though.”

“Even right now?” Lena sked exasperatedly. “A recital isn’t as important as her hospitalized girlfriend.”

Kara shrugged as much as her frail body would allow her to. “She can’t see me like this, and that’s fine.”

Lena’s heart yarned to be in Sam’s shoes, just for a day, so that she could make Kara realize that Sam was slacking as her girlfriend. “Alex has been here more than Sam has, Kara… that’s not okay.”

But when she turned around to face Kara, she was met with a sleeping Kryptonian.

She smiled adoringly and covered her up before she left the room to give her some peace and quiet.

 

**XXX**

Thirty minutes later, Lena was sitting at Kara’s room door when Sam came running through. “How is she, is she okay?”

“She’s sleeping,” Lena said coolly. “Which you would have known if you were here to see her when you were supposed to.”

Sam sighed. “I’m stressed out, Lena. You have no idea what it’s like to raise a teenager and date a superhero at once. It’s exhausting.”

“Kara could have died. Do you not understand that? She still could if the Tumors don’t heal properly or if the radiation reversal fails, yet you are hellbent on making it to your daughter’s recital instead. It’s like you’ve abandoned her!”

Sam scoffed. “You are the _last_ person I need to be hearing this from right now. You are the only person who has ever abandoned Kara, Lena. I’ve been here more than my job would allow me. I love Kara, and I intend to be there by her side as much as possible, but I have a job, I have a daughter, and I need sleep too.”

Lena shook her head, unable to believe that Sam was genuinely trying to justify her absence. “It’s like you can’t hear yourself or something. The woman that you love is lying in a hospital bed, unable to stand on her own after a major surgery and you’re acting like it’s no big deal!”

Sam was visibly fighting back tears. “I love Kara with everything that I have, but you have to understand that she cant’ always be my priority.”

Lena shook her head. “No, No I don’t understand, because if I were in your shoes, I’d never leave her side… I haven’t left her side, and I don’t plan to. You’re the luckiest woman in the world, Samantha. You have everything that I’ve ever wanted in the palm of your hand, yet you’re squandering it. Sure, your daughter should come first, but Kara should come just as important, and right now you’re acting like she’s your daughter’s dog. You don’t deserve her.”

Sam pushed Lena. “Take that back.”

Lena shook her head. “No. You don’t deserve her, and I’m not going to sit here and pretend that you do. She shouldn’t be sitting there, her heart broken because her girlfriend hasn’t come to visit her yet. You should be sitting there the entire time, holding her hand and making her feel better. She loves you, but you can’t even give her the common courtesy of showing up for her. You. Don’t. Deserve. Her.”

Just as Lena prepared to push Sam back, they heard the voice of a sickly Kara call out to them. “Sam? Baby, is that you?”

Sam smirked. “I may not deserve her, but I’m still the one she comes home to.”

And that one sentence alone, was enough to break Lena.

 

**XXX**

Sam left two hours later, after making a show of kissing Kara with tongue, and causing Lena to once again flee to the bathroom to cry her pain away.

Now it was just herself and Kara once again.

“How are you feeling?”

Kara frowned and shook her head. “She didn’t stay.”

Lena’s heart broke. “No, she had to get home to Ruby,”

Kara bit her lips and nodded for a moment as a tear leaked from her eye. “I needed her to stay.”

Lena’s heart ached. “Oh, Kara. I’m here, I know I’m not Sam, but I’m here.”

“You guys have switched positions.” Kara laughed sardonically. “Now it’s her that’s abandoning me, and you’re the one picking up the pieces.”

Lena shook her head. “She’s not abandoning you.”

Kara shook her head, “No.” She started. “But she’s still not here for me either.”

Lena had no idea what to say. All she knew was that she wanted Kara’s pain to go away, and she had no words to help, so she did the one thing that had always come naturally to her… one thing that she instantly regretted as soon as she did it…

She kissed her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How do you think Kara will react?


	8. Chapter 8

The kiss was over almost as soon as it started. Kara stiffened, and Lena pulled back instantly. “Oh, fuck,” Lena whispered, eyes still closed. She opened them slowly, fear and remorse filling her body. “I-I’m so sorry, Kara.”

Kara stared, completely still. “Y-You just…” She cut off.

“I’m so sorry. Oh, God, I’m so so, so,  _so_  sorry. Please forgive me. I don’t think I could survive if you hated me.” Lena begged, her voice catching at the last three words.

Kara shook her head, “I don’t, but you can never do that again, Lena. I’m with Sam. I understand that this is a really emotional time right now, but that  _wasn’t_  okay. I don’t cheat, and I never will.”

Lena swallowed back her tears as her heart tore itself to shreds. Kara didn’t like the kiss… She only wanted to kiss Sam. “R-right. It won’t happen again, I swear. It was a silly accident.”

Kara smiled and nodded. “I figured, and I forgive you for it, it just can’t happen again.”

“It won’t. I swear.” Lena replied, her heart breaking and her stomach aching… She just wanted Kara back.

 

**XXX**

She was sitting beside Kara’s sleeping form when Alex walked in. “Where’s Sam?” She whispered confusedly.

Lena looked at her watch and shook her head disappointedly, “An hour late… probably not showing up again.”

Alex frowned, “She hasn’t been showing up lately. What the hell is going on with her?” She asked annoyedly.

“She’s scared,” Lena responded. “At least I think she is.”

Alex cocked her head. “How do you know that?”

Lena frowned. “Because I did the same thing.”

 

**XXX**

The incessant pounding on Sam’s door was irritating her, to say the least. She had called out at least three times to let the perpetrator know she was on her way, but the knocking still persisted.

She rolled her eyes, expecting to see one of Ruby’s friends on the other side of the door, but when she saw her girlfriend’s sister with a stoic expression on her face, Sam’s heart dropped.

“A-Alex? What’s wrong?”

“She… She’s in a coma. She had a panic attack and kept asking for you, but I couldn’t get ahold of you.”

Sam’s heart plummeted… This was all her fault. She’d been so scared that Kara was going to pass that she distanced herself from the situation, hoping to make the entire situation go away, but instead she’d just made things worse. “Is she… Is she going to be okay?”

Alex sighed, “I don’t know.”

Sam’s heart broke. “Oh my god.” She sobbed. “I screwed up everything. She needed me, and I wasn’t strong enough to be there for her. What am I going to do? I can’t... I don’t want to… I don’t know  _how_  to live in a world that she’s not in anymore.”

Alex nodded. “Come with me.”

So Sam did. She followed her out into the driveway where she got into a DEO issued vehicle and let Alex take her to L-Corp.

 

**XXX**

Lena watched as Sam came barging in with tears gushing down her face. “Kara?!” She cried out.

Kara awoke from her sleep. “Baby!” She smiled.

Sam was immediately visibly relieved. “Oh, thank god. I thought I lost you.” She rushed to Kara's bedside and kissed her passionately. turned to Alex and glared. “You told me she was in a coma.”

Kara gasped. "Alex! What were you thinking?"

Alex shrugged and looked straight at Sam. “You told Kara you’d be here two hours ago. which makes us both liars." She began. "I was just tired of you playing with her heart. Either commit or let go because playing between the lines is less than she deserves. Being scared is one thing, but being a coward is another, and it can cost you everything. Now, if you’ll excuse me, my girlfriend is waiting for me, and Lucy doesn’t like being kept waiting… no one does.” Alex finished as she looked pointedly between Kara and Sam.

Kara looked so happy, and Lena was fuming. How could she forgive Sam so easily for being so selfish? She watched as Sam kissed Kara and whisper how sorry she was over and over again and Lena couldn’t take it anymore. Something snapped inside of her.

She walked over to Sam and pulled her off of Kara before staring right into Kara’s beautiful blue eyes. “How? Why? How and why can you forgive her for being such an unreliable and selfish bitch?” She started.

Kara frowned. “Lena, don’t talk about her like that!” She seethed. “She was scared.”

Lena let out a sob. “She left you! I was here, I’ve been the one taking care of you. Helping you, talking to you.  _We_  are the ones that have been talking about how scared we are. Not you and Sam, yet you’re with her?”

Sam scoffed behind her. “You’re one to talk. I was terrified that she was dying. What’s your excuse for abandoning her for over a year? Hm? That she was Supergirl?”

Lena then realized what was happening. She was Sam, and Sam was Lena. They’d switched roles for the past few days, and now she was seeing first hand how hurtful and disgusting her actions had been.

“Oh hell.” She said as the room began to spin and it started to become hard to breathe. “I-I never realized how badly I treated you, Kara.” She started stumbling towards Kara as the room started to grow smaller and smaller, her chest heaving, her thoughts racing.

Kara frowned. “Lena, Lena hey, sit down, please. It’s okay, Lena just breathe, okay? You’re going to-,”

 Lena never heard what she was going to say, because her panic attack took her consciousness.

 

**XXX**

When she woke, she was laying on a bed in the same room as Kara. Alex was gone, and Sam was no where in sight, but Kara was still there, laying on that metal bed with two iv’s in her arms.

“Welcome back, Lee,” Kara smiled.

“Kara, I’m so sorry… for everything. You deserved so much better from Sam… You deserved so much better from  _me,_ and I let you down. I realize now just how badly I hurt you… You weren’t sick back then, but you still needed me, and I was selfish.”

Kara bit her lip and shrugged. “You saved my life. All can be forgiven.”

Lena shook her head. “Don’t forgive me because you feel like you have to. Forgive me because you’re ready to forgive me.”

“I am ready, Lena. I want to be friends again. I miss the way things used to be.”

Lena’s heart flooded with hope. “Are you sure?”

Kara nodded. “Yes, but I have one request.”

“Anything,” Lena replied instantly.

“Can you apologize to Sam please?”

Lena swallowed, but bit back her pride and nodded, because regardless of how she felt towards her girlfriend stealing ex-best friend, she wanted to be more than Kara's ex girlfriend. "Of course, Darling."


	9. Chapter 9

She knew that apologizing to Sam was going to be difficult, partly because after she went off on the woman, Sam still picked her up and put her onto a bed to make sure that she was safe.

She felt guilty for calling Sam such vile things, but at the same time… Sam kind of deserved it.

“I know why you’re here, but let’s cut the bull crap.” Sam started without looking up from the paperwork on her desk. “You aren’t sorry, but you’re willing to say you’re sorry because you are still in love with my girlfriend and want to be in her good graces again. Am I wrong?”

Lena’s heart began to thud rapidly in her chest, but she couldn’t lie. Not about Kara. She gulped. “No.”

Sam nodded and finally looked up. “As soon as you came back I knew,” Sam admitted. “It’s why I hate you, because I know that there’s a chance she’ll take you back, and honestly… I love her too much to lose her.”

Lena relaxed a bit. At least they were finally on the same page about something. “I’d never do anything to disrespect your relationship. She’s with you now, and as much as that destroys me, I have to respect the fact that you make her happy… Happier than I’ve seen her.”

Sam laughed humorlessly and shook her head. “I make her happy, yes. Not happier than you did though. I’d say we’re even on that front.”

Lena was shocked; Sam wasn’t trying to one up her for a change. “Well, I still promised Kara I’d apologize… So I’m sorry I called you a selfish bitch.”

Sam chuckled. “No, you aren’t.”

Lena bit her lip to keep from smiling. “No.” She said with a shake of her head. “I’m really not, but I’m trying to be.”

“Don’t be. I turned into the old you there for a bit. I needed an ass kicking, and I deserved a lot worse than Alex gave me.”

Lena shrugged. “Being with Lucy the past year and a half seemed to have tamed her down a bit. I was shocked she didn’t come after me.”

Sam sighed. “I’m not going to lie; I was waiting for you to show up. I just never expected it would take you over a year to do it.”

Lena nodded. “I was twice the selfish bitch that you were being.”

“Yeah… You were.”

Lena cleared her throat and looked at the floor. “I um… I also wanted to say thank you for taking care of her when I couldn’t, and for helping me into a bed when I was passed out last week.”

Sam smiled. “You’re welcome.”

“I’m going to step back,” Lena said. “As much as it kills me, I’ve got to step back and let her be happy… but if you screw up. Even once, I’m going to fight for her.”

Sam smiled. “Thank you, Lena. I’ll treat her like the queen she is.” She offered Lena her hand. “I promise.”

Lena’s heart broke as she took Sam’s hand and shook it firmly. She missed her best friend, but more importantly, she missed Kara Danvers’ love.

“Good.” She responded.

 

**XXX**

Things changed from there, going back to the way things had been When Lena had first pined for Kara… Only this time, instead of Kara dating a Daxamite jackass, she was dating someone that was more deserving of her… Sam.

Which made it even harder to watch at game nights… Which is where she was currently.

Brainy was the banker, as Kara, Lena, Sam, Alex, Lucy, and James all played monopoly. (He insisted the Banker was more fit for him than the rest.)

Sam kept nipping at Kara’s neck, causing Kara to giggle delightedly, while Lucy sat in Alex’s lap and James glared at Alex jealously.

She felt for James, truthfully. Because they were in the same boat. They both fucked up majorly with their girlfriends, and now they both had to watch enviously as the winner of their respective ex-girlfriends’ heart rubbed it in their faces.

Kara rolled the dice and smiled widely as she got just the right number she needed to land on the free parking spot. “YES!” She squealed. “Jackpot!”

“Hey, no fair!” Lena teased.

Kara rolled her eyes playfully. “Is too fair!” She teased petulantly. “It’s not my fault that even though you’re a billionaire, you’re super bad with money.”

Lena laughed. “The railroad is a good investment!”

“Then how come I’m still winning?” Kara asked with a smirk.

The truth was, Lena was purposely losing. She knew that Kara always came in second, but tonight… She wanted to see Kara smile, so she did something that she wasn’t used to doing… She held back let herself lose... She was doing that a lot lately.

“Because I’m having an off night.” Lena lied.

Alex laughed. “Well, everyone but Kara seems to be having an off night because she’s got over twenty grand right there, and the rest of us barely have anything.”

Lucy kissed Alex’s cheek. “Don’t be a poor sport, Alex. It’s just a game.”

Alex looked down and smiled lovingly at Lucy. “Right. A game that we’re getting massacred at.”

They all laughed, but something was strange… Kara was staring at her, almost as if she were trying to read her mind, but as soon as Lena turned to focus on her, she jolted her head back to Sam and smiled dotingly at her.

That was odd…

 

**XXX**

Sam went to pick up Ruby from a friend’s house, Lucy, Alex, and James all had left, and it was just Lena and Kara left to pick up the living room.

Lena was bringing over a few empty beer bottles to the kitchen area when Kara asked a question she’d been expecting.

“How did it go?”

“the apology?” Lena asked.

Kara nodded.

“It helped.” Lena paused to drop the bottles into the recycling bin. “I think we’re on the way to mending fences.”

Kara smiled brightly. “This is amazing! Now we can go on double dates when you find someone.”

The pang in Lena’s chest was enough to send her running out the door, but she didn’t she just smiled through the pain and nodded. “Yeah. That would be great.” She lied.


	10. Chapter 10

A month went past, and every day during those thirty god awful Kara-less days, she realized that she could never make it on that double date, because whenever she was forced to see them together, it felt as if someone with a glove made of razor blades was squeezing her heart.

But today was different. Today was going to be just Kara and Lena. All day with them just being best friends… Unless Supergirl was needed.

She arrived at Kara and Sam’s house a little after noon, and from there they went out to eat lunch.

“I’m never eating Kale again,” Kara said with a scrunched up face as she watched Lena take a bite of her salad.

Lena giggled. “Why? Just because you can’t get fat doesn’t mean you shouldn’t eat healthily.”

Kara shrugged. “Only the sun can make me sick apparently.”

Lena frowned, remembering those two weeks Kara had been so sick she couldn’t stand, and her heart cracked a little. “Don’t joke about that. That was horrible.”

Kara frowned. “I’m sorry. We’re past it now though, Lee.” She reached across the restaurant table and grabbed Lena’s hand.

Lena’s heart began to race rapidly, and Kara was staring at her again, as if she was trying to find an answer within Lena’s mind.

“Do I scare you, Lena?” Kara asked sadly. “Because every time I look at you, and every time I touch you, your heart beat escalates.”

Lena swallowed, fighting to find an appropriate answer. “No.” She said honestly. “I love being around you, Kara. I don’t know why my heart does that.”

Kara bit her lip and hummed. “I had a dream.”

Lena arched a brow. “Okay, Martin Luther.” She teased.

Kara shook her head. “No. when I was in a coma after my surgery, I had a dream. I dreamt that you were crying over me, and you confessed that you still loved me, and that you wanted me back.”

Lena’s heart raced louder than ever before. The world began to swirl as panic set into her gut. “That is quite the dream.” She said. “Because that for sure never happened.”

Kara nodded and let go of Lena’s hand. “I thought so, but then I noticed your heart rhythm and I was curious.”

Lena shook her head, her heart still throbbing in her chest. “Nope, no secret love here. You’re with Sam, and I’m trying to find the right person.”

Kara smiled genuinely and leaned back into her seat. “Okay good. I was really worried,”

 

**XXX**

Knowing that Kara remembered, well _almost_ remembered terrified her, so from that point on she played it as cool as she could around Kara… because for better or worse she had to keep her promise to Sam, it would be utterly selfish to tell Kara that she was still madly in love with her after everything she put them through.

She missed Sam’s friendship, she missed Kara’s kisses, and she missed feeling happy… It’d been far too long since she remembered what pure happiness felt like, and she hoped someday she could find that again, but telling Kara how she felt would make sure that she would never find happiness again. Mainly if she chose to hate Lena for it.

So, quiet pining and drinking herself into a stupor every night was how she would cope with the excruciating pain of unrequited love.

 

**XXX**

Four more months passed, and Lena was exhausted from hiding her feelings and drinking herself to sleep every night to avoid dreaming of Kara.

Stepping back and allowing Kara to be happy had been the hardest decision of her life, and now she wasn’t so sure how much more she could handle. She was watching Sam and Kara perform a duet of ‘As Long A You’re Mine’ at Karaoke night, jealousy and heart ache pouring through her.

Lena wanted to get drunk, but she saw how happy Kara was and wanted to soak it in no matter how jealous she may be. She noticed how Kara would stare at her when no one was looking, as if she was investigating her, and although that made her heart flutter, she hated knowing that Kara was listening to her heart. It meant that she knew more than Lena wanted her to.

“You should sing one,” Alex suggested as she came up next to her at the bar. They had grown close over the past four months, and Lena had drunkenly confessed everything to Alex. “Kara would love that.”

Lena shook her head and watched as the couple sang to each other. “She loves her, doesn’t she?”

Alex nodded. “Yes.”

“Will it be selfish if I tell her now?”

“Sorta,” Alex admitted. “But if you ever want happiness, you have to tell her and get it off your chest. I know you’ll find what they have some day.”

Lena shook her head. “Not with anyone but Kara.”

Alex sighed and took a sip of her drink that the bar tender had just handed her. “Fine, but don’t be a party pooper. Go sing.”

Lena looked at the MC and smiled…. She had an idea.

 

**XXX**

The music started playing, and Lena took the stage searching the crowd for Kara and pointing at her before she began singing.

“Walking down 29th and Park  
I saw you in another's arms  
Only a year we've been apart  
You look happier

Saw you walk inside a bar  
She said something to make you laugh  
I saw that both your smiles were twice as wide as ours  
Yeah, you look happier, you do”

Kara shook her head no, and Lena nodded, needing to get this all off of her chest. She looked at Sam, who had nothing but fury on her face, but Lena didn’t care… She couldn’t go another moment sitting in silence. It wasn’t like Kara was going to choose her anyway. She was just Listening to Alex and getting the truth off of her chest.

“Ain't nobody hurt you like I hurt you  
But ain't nobody love you like I do  
Promise that I will not take it personal, baby  
If you're moving on with someone new”

She swallowed and tried to meet Kara’s eye, but Kara was looking at Sam, talking… She kept singing anyway.

“'Cause baby you look happier, you do  
My friends told me one day I'll feel it too  
And until then I'll smile to hide the truth  
But I know I was happier with you

Sat on the corner of the room  
Everything's reminding me of you  
Nursing an empty bottle and telling myself you're happier  
Aren't you?

Ain't nobody hurt you like I hurt you  
But ain't nobody need you like I do  
I know that there's others that deserve you”

She finally met Kara’s eye.

  
“But my darling, I am still in love with you

But I guess you look happier, you do  
My friends told me one day I'd feel it too  
I could try to smile to hide the truth  
I know I was happier with you

Baby, you look happier, you do  
I knew one day you'd fall for someone new  
But if she breaks your heart like lovers do  
Just know that I'll be waiting here for you.”

As soon as the music stopped, Lena jumped down from the stage and rushed out the back door and into an alley way where she started crying ferociously. She screamed at the moon for shining so bright when her whole life had been darkness since the moment she left Kara; she then went slack dropped to her knees, and bowed her head as she continued crying.

 

A moment later the door creaked open, and within seconds she heard the voice of an angel. “You shouldn’t have had to hide your feelings for so long,” Kara said softly.

Lena shrugged. “I was coming back to try to work things out, but you were already with Sam.”

“You still could have told me,” Kara interjected.

“Why? So that you could have rejected me nicely?” She asked tearfully.  She stood up and turned around to face Kara. “I’m sorry I ruined your Karaoke night.”

Kara walked forward and stopped mere inches before Lena. She cupped her face in both hands and smiled. “It wasn’t a dream, was it? You really did confess your love for me that day.”

Lena swallowed, hope rising in her chest. “Yes.” She whimpered out.

Kara nodded. “I need time to process everything. To think about what I want and who I want to be with, but in the mean time, can we just continue with the way things are? Sam already knows, and she’s agreed to give me time.”

Lena nodded, happiness overflowing within her. “Of course.”

This had turned out a lot differently than Lena had expected it to go, but she was one hundred percent happy it had.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who do you think Kara will choose?   
> The song in this chapter ic 'Happier' By Ed Sheeran


	11. Chapter 11

Lena was sitting in her penthouse when there was a knock on her door.

She quickly walked over and opened it to see a teary-eyed Sam standing in front of her.

“Y-You said you’d step back.” Sam cried. “I love her.”

Lena’s gut churned with guilt. “I shouldn’t have done what I did, Sam. I was selfish and inconsiderate, and I can’t tell you how sorry I am.”

“I hate you,” Sam stated coolly, tears staining her cheeks. “I hate you.”

Lena fought back her own sob and nodded; she knew that she deserved a lot worse from Sam.

“I’m sorry.”

Sam shook her head. “You don’t get to apologize to me. I just need you to know that if you take her away from me, I never want to see your face again.”

Lena swallowed, hating how badly she’d hurt Sam. “I never wanted to hurt you.”

“Maybe not, but you did it anyway.” Sam cried.

Lena wanted to hug her, to apologize, to take it back, but she couldn’t…

She loved Kara too much to pretend like her feelings weren’t real.

 

**XXX**

 

Kara loved Sam.

That wasn’t why she was conflicted. She was conflicted because she thought she might just love Lena too.

That’s where the problem arose. She was scared of thinking about Lena that way, because she wasn’t sure Lena wouldn’t run again at the first sign of danger. Wasn’t sure that Lena was strong enough to be in a serious relationship again.

There were so many reasons that she was terrified of loving Lena again that she almost decided against pursuing anything further.

Sam would never run or hurt her. Sam loved her gently. Sam was safe, and warm, powerful, and everything right with the world…

But Lena?

Lena understood Kara’s pain and abandonment. Lena related with Kara’s dark side as well as her light side. Lena loved her fiercely. Lena was strong and capable of such great things… Lena was Kara’s first love.

So, choosing between two women that she loved in two entirely different ways was drastically difficult. She wanted to be with them both, but she knew that was not fair to any of them… She had to choose.

 

**XXX**

 

For the past two weeks, Lena had been miserable. Dread for Kara’s decision mixed with guilt from breaking her promise had led her to become a drunk.

Kara had stayed in contact via cellphone but hadn’t made much of an effort to meet up but twice, so she was sure that she was going to be staying with Sam despite the hope Lena had.

She was just about to have her first drink of the morning when she heard a knock. She sighed and put down her whiskey bottle before making her way to the door.

When the door opened, Lena’s heart stopped… Kara, with a serious expression on her face, was standing there.

“Hey.” Lena greeted nervously. “Come in.”

Kara did as requested, but without saying hello, brought up a serious topic. “If I chose you, how do I know you wouldn’t run off again when things got hairy? How do I trust you enough to know that you wouldn’t break my heart again?”

Lena swallowed the lump in her throat. “Because these past two years have been the worst of my life without you, Kara, and I have had some _terrible_ years. Knowing that you aren’t mine and knowing that I hurt you causes me physical pain each and every day. I know I don’t deserve a second chance, and I know that Sam makes you happy, but you needed to know how I feel. It wasn’t right of me to hide it from you.”

Kara flopped down on Lena’s couch. “I never expected for this to happen.” She started. “I thought that as soon as you left me and started to ignore my mere existence, there was no hope for us to get back together so I stopped thinking about you that way, and then I got with Sam, and now you’re telling me that you’re still in love with me after all this  time and I just don’t know what to say.”

Lena swallowed. “Do you love me?”

Kara sighed, “I don’t know… I think so…” She paused, and visibly pondered for a moment. “Yes, I do.”

Lena’s heart flipped. She had so much hope, but she was still absolutely terrified that Kara wasn’t going to choose her. “If you still love me, then I can wait. I’ll wait a lifetime for you.”

“Why now?” Kara asked. “Why tell me now when you were completely content keeping your feelings a secret?”

Lena shook her head. “I wasn’t content, I was barely even breathing, Kara. I told you because I couldn’t take the pain anymore. I tried, I really did, but I couldn’t do it. Watching you with Sam is the most painful thing I’ve ever felt. I need you and I know that you don’t need me, but if you at least _want_ me, things could go back to the way things were before this all happened. I’d treat you like a queen. I know what I’ve lost now, and I don’t want to live the rest of my life missing you. I can’t go back to being your best friend, I want to be your wife. So please, Kara. Take me back and let me love you right.”

 

**XXX**

 

 

 

It took another week for Kara to be sure of what she wanted, and when she finally decided, she realized who she needed to let go and who she needed to be with.

She thought about everything. Who made her laugh the most? Who made her heart flutter the most? Who would she die for the quickest?

All of those answers came back to one woman. One woman that owned her soul, and no matter how much she loved the other, it just wasn’t enough.

As painful as it was going to be to let one go, it was going to be worth it in the end.


	12. Chapter 12

Lena was working on a new project in her lab when she got the text she’d been waiting on for weeks.

 **Kara:** _We need to talk._

Lena gulped while her heart pounded at the vagueness of the text… It wasn’t like Kara to be so cryptic.

**Lena:** _That’s very elusive, Darling. May I have more details?_

The reply was instantaneous.

**Kara:** _Where are you?_

That reply only heightened Lena’s terror. This was it; this was the moment Kara was going to break her heart for the final time.

 **Lena:** _My lab._

Within moments Kara was standing in front of her, with an unreadable expression on her face.

Lena swallowed back the lump in her throat and smiled sadly. “You’ve come to break my heart, haven’t you?”

Kara cocked her head to the side. “Why do you say that?”

Lena laughed. “Because the world has been against me from the very moment I was conceived.”

“The world stopped being against you years ago, Lena. Now the only one against you is yourself.”

“So, it’s her then? You’ve chosen to stay with Sam?” Lena asked, her heart cracking piece by piece as the conversation continued.

“When you left me, you destroyed me.” Kara started. “You took a piece of me when you left, and I’m not so sure you won’t do it again.”

Lena whimpered her pain continuously growing. “Just say it, Kara. Stop toying with me. Tell me it’s her, so I stop hoping.”

Kara sighed, and walked closer to Lena. “You need to stop talking.” She said gently.

Lena lowered her eyes. “I’m sorry.”

“When I think about what I want in the future, you and Sam both could give me happiness.” Kara started. “But what terrifies me is that you’ve already destroyed me once, and I’m not so sure you won’t repeat it again. I can’t set myself up for heartache again.”

Lena couldn’t fight the tears that were falling rapidly down her face. “I understand” She cried, “I don’t know that I could forgive someone for the things I’ve done either.”

Kara rose her hand and gently wiped away the tears from Lena’s face. “If I gave us another chance, would you actually stay when things get rough? Would you talk things through instead of taking everything to heart and running? Because, if you can’t promise to fight for us, I can’t even think about giving us a second chance.”

Lena’s breathing became shallow as hope rose in her chest. “Y-yes. I swear on my life.”

“You wouldn’t give me the silent treatment or cold shoulder when we hit a speed bump? Because those are guaranteed in relationships.”

Lena shook her head. “I’d talk whatever the issue is out with you instead.”

Kara nodded, “That’s good to hear, because I’ve been wanting to do this for weeks.”

Lena furrowed her brow. “Do wh-,” She was cut off by Kara’s lips pressing against her own. She closed her eyes and moaned as euphoria ran through her blood. She felt relieved, and mind boggled that it was happening; she thought for sure that she had lost Kara forever, but she was _oh so_ glad that she hadn’t.

Kara kissed her until everything went silent around them, and Lena felt whole. The kiss broke open the sky; it proved to Lena that every other kiss she shared with another person had been wrong.

Kara’s mouth opened, and there was a fire burning through Lena as their tongues danced against each other. It took Lena’s breath away, and then gave it back all at once. It was perfect.

They continued to kiss until Lena needed air, and when they pulled back, Kara rested her head against Lena’s.

“You taste like scotch.” Kara frowned.

Lena avoided eye contact fear that her new-found alcoholism was going to ruin whatever it was they’d found. “I’m sorry.”

Kara put a curled finger under Lena’s chin and pulled her head up. “We’re going to talk about this later, but for now… I want to talk about something else.”

Lena nodded. “Whatever you want” She replied. “What is it you wanted to say?”

“We’re going to have to take this slow,” She said. “I’m still hurting for my break up with Sam, and I still need to learn to trust you again, but we’ll get there… I know we will.”

Lena’s heart filled with elation; nothing could describe the pure euphoria that was building within her as she realized that Kara had chosen her. “Y-you want _me_?”

Kara smiled. “I always have.”

“But… Sam.” Lena said, concern for her long lost friend.

Kara’s face turned sad. “She owns my heart, but you own my soul, Lena. And if I have to choose between you two, no matter how much it hurts, I’ll choose you.”

Lena swallowed. “I hurt her.”

Kara shook her head. “ _I_ hurt her, Lee. She blamed you, but it was me who did the hurting, and as much as I hate myself for it, it had to be done. Sam and I could be happy, but that song was wrong, because I will always be happier with you.”

“Are you sure?” Lena asked, still unable to wrap her head around why Kara would choose her over Sam.

Kara nodded. “Of course I am. I never make a decision I’m not certain of.”

She didn’t know what to do or say, so instead of doing anything she let herself get pulled into another kiss.

 

**XXX**

“So, how slow do you want to go?” Lena asked, her mind still on cloud nine as sat next to her… girlfriend(?). "I want to know so that I don't cross a line you aren't okay with." She said honestly; because she was terrified to ruin this already and send Kara running back to Sam.

Kara bit her lip. “I want to go to couple’s counseling, and I don’t want to have sleepovers or sex until we’re at a place I feel comfortable trusting you not to break my heart again.”

Lena’s heart ached as she saw the pain she caused Kara, etch across the Kryptonian’s face. “Of course, baby… whatever you need to feel safe with me again.”

Kara smiled. “We can get through this; I know we can.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> <3


	13. Chapter 13

The therapist seemed to understand where Kara was coming from, and had started to ask questions that Lena was terrified to hear the answers to.

“The question is, do you ever think you will be able to get over your abandonment issues? From what I am gathering, your hurt and distrust lies within the fact that Lena knew that you had abandonment issues because of your family’s death regardless if she knew the whole truth about you…. Do you think that you will be able to forgive her and move on?” He asked Kara.

Kara bit her lip, the gap between her and Lena on the couch growing, as was Lena’s fear. “I-I don’t know, I want to, but every time I think about it, my heart breaks all over again.”

The man hummed and nodded while he jotted down in his notes. “What are some things that you think Lena could do to help you forgive her?”

Kara bit her lip. “I’d like to be able to trust her again.”

Dr. Adams nodded. “Okay. Well, that’s a good start.” He said before looking at Lena. “But before we can start building on trust, we have to start understanding why Lena left to begin with.” He established. “So, Lena, would you mind explaining _why_ you were so upset when Kara told you the truth about her race?”

They hadn’t told the man that Kara was Supergirl, simply that she was an alien that helped Supergirl out on occasion… just in case Doctor – Patient confidentiality wasn’t enough to keep the man quiet. “I-I wasn’t upset with her. I thought I was, but I was really upset with myself, so I ran and took out my anger on Kara until I realized what my anger really was about; after that, I was just too ashamed to face her and beg to win her forgiveness.”

The man hummed once again as he continued to write in his notes. “How does that make you feel, Kara?”

Kara fidgeted with her glasses. “Angry.” She said, to Lena’s discontent.

“Why does that make you angry?”

Kara let out a huff. “Because I feel like she was selfish.” She admitted, once again. “I tried to tell her over and over again that I kept it from her to keep her safe, but she wouldn’t even give me a chance to explain. She ran away and broke my heart. She refused to see me, threatened to have me arrested or to get a restraining order if I didn’t leave her alone, and I just don’t know how to trust her after the pain she caused me. I’m terrified that if I mess up even a little bit, she’s going to run off again… and I won’t go after her this time, because my heart is too fragile after the last time.”

Lena swallowed the lump in her throat as tears fell without permission. “I’d never leave you again, Kara. You’re the only reason I get up anymore. I love you, Kara. I’m willing to do whatever it takes to earn back your trust.”

Kara looked at her through the corner of her eye and sighed. “I love you too; I’m trying, Lena… I really am, but it’s so damn hard to get over this.”

Lena’s heart ached, she hated this all. She hated counseling; she hated the pain in Kara’s shaky voice, she hated the way Kara was looking at her. She hated knowing that this was all because of her. “I know, darling” she began. “I know, and I’m willing to wait however long it takes.”

Kara offered her a tight smile and nodded. “I really do love you, Lena.”

Lena’s heart fluttered. “I love you too.”

The therapist closed his notebook and clapped once. “Okay. I think that’s enough progress for one day, but I think that it’s time to give you some homework.”

Lena’s anxiety started to climb as the man explained what the homework for each day was:

  1. **Make eye contact with your partner for 3 minutes.**
  2. **Tell your partner a scary secret**
  3. **Tell each other why you love each other.**



Lena gulped, worried that the homework was a bit too easy. “So, we have to do these in order?”

The man nodded. “This will help you in the long run. It may not seem like it at first, but making eye contact and holding meaningful conversations for extended periods of time can and will help you rebuild the bond that you once had.”

Lena looked at Kara, who was staring down at her hands. Her heart ached, but she knew that this was for the best. “Okay.” She said. “We can do this.”

 

**XXX**

Lena was seated in front of Kara on her couch, sitting face to face in preparation for their 3 minutes of ‘meaningful conversation.’ Her heart was thudding; she was terrified about how Kara would deal with this.

They met eyes, and Lena took a deep breath preparing to tell her ‘scary secret.’ “When you stopped coming by, I almost came back, but when I got to National City I couldn’t do it and went back to Gotham.”

Kara frowned but nodded and took her turn. “Before we broke up and all of this happened, I wrote you a letter for a post-break-up because I wasn’t sure how long you would want to be with me. It was basically a letter telling you all the reasons I loved you.”

Lena swallowed back a tearful lump. “You didn’t think that I would want you?”

Kara shook her head. “When you left I figured you were just using Supergirl as a reason to finally leave me. I almost mailed you the letter, but I didn’t think you’d ever read it because you were so angry.”

“I would have thrown it away,” Lena admitted. “I was too full of regret to read anything you sent me.”

Kara nodded and bit her lip, willing Lena to go first with the third part of their homework.

Lena nodded, cleared her throat and went. “I love you because I love you.” She started. “It’s impossible for me not to love you. I love you because you have a heart of gold. I love you because you actually put effort into me. I love you because no one has ever given me the love that you give me. I love you because you always make me feel like I am worth something. I love you because you are strong and powerful, and you have every reason to be dark and twisty, but instead, you’re light and bubbly. I love you because you make me smile even when I almost forget how to. I love you because you have a huge, honest, loving soul and I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”

Kara smiled tearfully. “I love you because you understand every little thing I do. I love you because when you’re here, you’re always there for me. I love you because you are a genius. I love you because you plan things out for us. I love you because you are kind and compassionate. I love you because you make me laugh when I want to cry. I love you because you make my heart beat faster, and I love hearing that I do the same to you. I love you because you always try to make me happy, and most of all, I love you because you’re the love of my life.”

Lena’s heart was full; she had no idea how amazing it felt to hear _why_ Kara loved her. The timer went off, signaling their three minutes were up and she wiped away her own happy tears before leaning in close to Kara. “May I kiss you?” She whispered nervously.

Kara smiled. “Of course, you may.” She replied before closing the gap between them.

Lena didn’t know what the future would hold for them, but she knew that whatever it was, she would fight to make sure that they would experience it together; and now, she had hope.


	14. Chapter 14

 

Lena was scared when Kara told her that they needed to talk. She knew that it wasn’t about anything good, but she had no idea what she’d done to upset Kara. They’d been doing their homework every day, twice a day, and although Kara wasn’t ready to go public with them again, Lena had been confident that this was what Kara had wanted.

But now she was terrified that something had changed. Had Kara decided she’d rather stay with Sam? The mere thought of losing Kara forever made her stomach churn with dread. Her breathing became labored, and all she could do was walk to the bar and hope a nice glass of Chardonnay would help calm her nerves; but just as her hand touched the bottle, she heard a sad voice speak out behind her.

“This is what I wanted to talk to you about,” Kara said.

Lena turned around, her breathing back to normal, but her fear still in tact. “What do you mean?”

“I told you we would talk about your alcoholism later, and I think it’s about time that we do it.” Kara asserted. “The first time we kissed since we got back together, you tasted of whiskey, Lena. There are a lot of things that we have to get through, and this is one of them because I can’t be with someone that drinks themselves to sleep every night.”

Lena gulped; she hadn’t realized her alcohol consumption had been scaring Kara so severely. “I’ll stop.” She avowed. “Right now, I’ll stop.”

Kara shook her head. “I don’t think you can. Not on your own, at least. I think you need AA.”

Lena shook her head. “Absolutely not. I can do this on my own, Kara. I don’t need the bad press getting out that a Luthor is in rehab.”

“Lena, it’s called Alcoholics Anonymous for a reason. “

“I’m not an alcoholic, Kara. I just started leaning on it more when I was lonely and sad. I have you now, and I’m okay.”

“Lena, it’s twelve in the afternoon, and you were already reaching for the bottle. That’s not okay.” Kara said sternly.

Lena was terrified of the consequences of refusing Kara’s request, She didn’t want to lose her again, but she genuinely didn’t feel like she had a problem. “Kara, please… Give me a week, if I have a drink in this week, I’ll do whatever you ask of me. Just give me a chance to prove I don’t need help.”

Kara bit her lip for a moment, clearly contemplating on wat to do and nodded in acquiescence. “Fine. One week.”

Lena smiled, and her heart fluttered as Kara cupped her cheeks and leaned in to connect their lips… They had far to go, but Lena was sure that they could make it.

 

**XXX**

Three days went by before Lena had one of the worst days at work she’d had in years. She wanted nothing more than to grab a bottle of the strongest scotch she had and drain it, but she had made a promise to Kara, and she never broke promises when it came to her, so instead, she was drinking tea, and waiting for Kara to get there so they could do their homework.

She was on her third mug when Kara touched down on her balcony. “Ready to start?” She asked as she made her way to the couch in front of Lena.

Lena smiled, her heart full just at the sight of Kara. “I’m always ready for you.” She admitted.

Kara beamed. “I love you.”

As they were going through their three minutes of meaningful conversation, Lena realized that she didn’t need alcohol to get drunk, all she had to do was look into Kara’s eyes and she was drunk on love.

 

**XXX**

“So now the question is whether, or not you see yourself forgiving Lena anytime soon, because at this point it’s up to you. You are under no obligation to ever forgive her, Kara, but if you can’t I think it best that you tell Lena now.” Dr. Adams spoke.

Kara looked at Lena, and the brunette held her breath out of fear… If Kara couldn’t forgive her, there would never be a chance of them being happy together.

Kara bit her lip. “The past two weeks, talking to you and looking into your eyes I saw and heard so much regret about what you’ve done. I know that you hate yourself for hurting me. I know that you don’t like where we’re at right now, and I don’t think that you’re going to run away again, but I still need time to heal, Lena. I don’t know when I will forgive you, but I can tell you that I’m far closer to forgiveness than I was two weeks ago.”

Lena’s heart yearned for Kara’s forgiveness, knew that Kara would never go public with them until she was sure that they were going to make it… which meant nothing more than handholding on the couch and kisses goodbye… it wasn’t enough, but if that’s all that Kara was willing to give her, Lena would greedily accept. “I understand.” She replied because she _did_ understand. Kara had been devastated by Lena’s betrayal and taking time to heal from it all was only natural. She just wished that it was easier than this.

 

**XXX**

Walking out of the Therapist’s office, Lena finally couldn’t contain her feelings any longer, she knew that she was supposed to be open about how she was feeling in therapy, but this topic she wanted to stay between Kara and herself. “I’d like to take you on a date… I will make sure there are no reporters or paparazzi to expose our rekindled relationship to the public yet. I just need you to see that I’m the same person you fell in love with the first time.”

Kara cocked her head. “A date, huh?”

“I-if you’d like that, then yes… I’d like to take you out on a real date. Because I want a chance to prove to myself that I can be the woman you used to love.”

Kara frowned. “I do love you, Lena.”

Lena shook her head. “You’re not in love with me yet, Kara. Not like you used to be.”

Kara averted her eyes, not denying the claim. “I almost am.”

“You are.” Lena smiled, her heart mending a piece of itself at Kara’s admission. “So let me show you the woman you’ve been missing, and that it’s safe to love me again. Things will never be the same between us after what I did, but I can only hope that they get better from here.”

Kara bit her lip. "Have you had a drink this week so far?"

Lena smiled and shook her head. "Not a drop."

Kara smiled and pulled Lena’s body flush against her, wrapping her arms around her waist, holding them together tightly. “Okay then, Miss Luthor. A date it is.”


	15. Chapter 15

Lena was stressed. She wanted to get every aspect of this date right, because if she didn’t, she feared she would lose Kara forever.

As she was planning their date, there was a knock at her door. She sighed and closed her laptop before looking at the door.

“Come in.” She called out.

The door opened to show Alex Danvers in all of her D.E.O attire. “Hey.”

“Hello.” Lena replied, confusion taking over her.

“Do you know what happened between Kara and Sam?” Alex asked. “They were perfectly happy and then *poof* they break up. I don’t get it.”

Lena didn’t want to lie to Alex, she really didn’t, but she couldn’t disregard Kara’s wishes… Kara wanted to keep them secret until she was sure that they were at a good spot, and Lena wasn’t going to risk losing her over this. “No idea.” She lied.

Alex frowned. “They were so good together, I just don’t get it. She was happy. They both were, and Ruby loved Kara.”

“She always loved Kara.” Lena added.

Alex nodded. “Not so much anymore.”

Lena’s heart ached as she realized the toll she’d taken on not just Sam, but a sixteen-year-old girl as well. It hurt to know that she caused so much destruction, but she regretted none of it. Kara was her world and she would do whatever it took to keep her by her side. She knew she was selfish, and she hated herself for it; but Lena needed Kara like she needed oxygen, and she couldn’t find it in herself to regret fighting for her.

“Well, that is understandable. She still hates me for hurting her mother, I can’t imagine she’d give Kara a get out of jail free card for doing the same thing.” Lena replied.

Alex glared. “We don’t know that Kara is the on that broke up with Sam, unless you know something I don’t.”  
Lena shrugged the accusation off in a façade of nonchalance, hoping that Alex wouldn’t suspect anything. “Well if Ruby is mad at Kara then it would make sense wouldn’t it? Why else would she be mad?”

“True.” Alex paused. “I guess that _does_ make sense. I just wish Kara would talk to me about it, she seems preoccupied lately and it’s starting to worry me.”

 _She’s preoccupied with trying to learn how to forgive me._ Lena thought. “Oh. I… I could talk to her for you?” She offered.

Alex pursed her lips before huffing out in resignation. “I don’t know if you’ll be able to get anything out of her if she won’t even talk to me about it, but if she does, just let me know that she’s alright… okay?”

Lena smiled and bobbed her head. “Of course,”

Alex smiled at her. “Thanks, Lena. And who knows, now that Kara’s single again you may have a shot.” She winked at Lena playfully before she exited the office, leaving a worried Lena alone.

_What am I going to do now?_

**XXX**

As soon as Kara touched down on Lena’s balcony, Lena bombarded her with he news. “Your sister came by my office today.” She began. “She wanted to know if I knew anything about your break up with Sam and why you’ve been so distant lately. I told her I would talk to you about it but I have no idea what I’m going to say.”

Her worry only grew when Kara frowned. “Why didn’t you just tell her to ask me?”

“I-,” Lena froze up, she had no idea what to say, but then Kara smiled.

“It’s okay, Lee. We’ll figure out what to tell her later. Right now, I’m ready to go on a date with you.”

Lena relaxed, glad that Kara wasn’t angry with her. “Oh, _thank god_.” She sighed as she put a hand over her chest to calm her racing heart.

Kara walked closer to her and enveloped her into a tight embrace. “Hey,” She soothed. “Why do you always worry so much about these things?” Kara asked sadly. “I’m in this for the long haul; I’m not going to leave you just because you talked to my sister. If you keep worrying so much you’re going to give yourself an ulcer.”

Lena swallowed back her fear, she needed to get this off her chest, and she had no idea when she’d have another chance. “I’m always scared because I know that I’ve already messed up terribly before, and I want you to believe you aren’t wasting your time on me… but if I keep messing up, what else are you going to think?”

Kara tightened their hug. “I’m not wasting my time. I’m trying to work through an obstacle with the woman I love.”

“You aren’t angry?”

Kara chuckled. “Alex bombarded you; you didn’t actively search her out to talk about me. You were caught in a tricky situation, and it wasn’t your fault. You did what you thought was right in that moment. I will talk to her, so you don’t have to worry about it. You did nothing wrong, Lena.”

Relief overflooded Lena, and she nodded her head. “I just don’t want to lose you again.”

Kara shook her head vehemently, “You’re not losing me, Lee. I’m still here, and I don’t plan on going anywhere.”

“You don’t plan to, but if you aren’t able to forgive me and fall in love with me again, you’re going to.” Lena deadpanned.

“I love you, Lena, it just isn’t like it used to be, but it never will be because we have a chance to make things better.” Kara retaliated. “You and I are good together, and now we have no secrets. There is nothing between us that can destroy us besides ourselves. It’s you and me, and we can get through anything.”

Lena breathed in Kara’s scent and relaxed… Kara’s soothing tone, her affirmations of devotion and love, and the way she held Lena all told the CEO that she was safe. She knew that they had a long road ahead, she knew that there was still a chance Kara wouldn’t be able to forgive her, but they were getting closer and closer by the second… She just hoped that their date night would close whatever worries and angers Kara had about and against her and that they could start anew.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How do you think the date will go?


	16. Chapter 16

The date had been simple to plan… Find Kara’s favorite restaurant, call them and rent it out entirely for the night, and then have the cooks and waitresses sign non-disclosure agreements. Rent a band, have them sign non-disclosure agreements as well. She even made sure that nothing and no one could send the paparazzi after them.

She hoped more than anything that this date would finally bridge the gaps that had been separating her and Kara. She hated how things were; Kara wouldn’t even hold her hand in public, and Lena’s heart wasn’t able to take much more of the torture.

She sat in the limo, Kara’s hand enveloping hers, when Kara looked over and smiled at her, taking Lena’s breath away in an instant. “You are _so_ beautiful.” She croaked out.

Kara blushed. “Not as beautiful as you, though.”

At that, it was Lena’s turn to blush. “I love you so much, Kara.”

Kara smiled, once again taking Lena’s breath away and causing butterflies to dance in her stomach. “I love you, too.”

Lena held her breath and scooted closer to Kara, closing the small distance between them. She knew that asking this was quite a risk; Kara made it perfectly clear where she wanted the physical affection to stop, but Lena needed more than secret hand holding and kisses. “Do you, maybe… think that we could cuddle?” She asked in a small voice.

Kara’s face lit up. “Yes.” She said as she raised her arm and placed it so that it was under and around Lena.

Lena reveled in the feeling of Kara’s body against her own; her worries and fears all beginning to dissipate as she listened to a Kryptonian heart, beat.

“I always feel safe when I’m with you.” Lena admitted, “You’re my safe haven.”

Lena heard Kara’s heart pick up its pace. “You’re my safe  haven too.”

Lena closed her eyes and let Kara’s words sink into her brain… she made Kara feel safe, and that was more than she could ever ask for.

They continued to cuddle the entire ride to the restaurant, and when they reached their destination, Lena didn’t even want to get out of the vehicle… It’d been far too long since the last time she cuddled Kara, and she didn’t want to let go.

However, when she heard Kara’s stomach grumble, she knew that they had to go inside. So, she begrudgingly let go of Kara and walked with her into a deserted Noonan’s.

“ ** _Wow_** ,” Kara exclaimed. “This is gorgeous. Noonan’s never looks this fancy.”

Lena smiled, her heart overflowing with pride because she’d done something right; Kara liked the decorations. “I came here with a team of party planners and had them decorate it for us.”

Kara pulled Lena into a fervent kiss. “You didn’t have to go this extravagant.” She whispered tenderly. “I would have been happy with just sitting on the couch and watching reruns of Wynonna Earp.”

“You deserve more than that. You deserve a real date, and I plan on giving it to you.” Lena asserted. “I want to show you just how much you mean to me. So, can we please just sit down together, relax, and enjoy the evening? Please?”

Kara sighed defeatedly and nodded with a smile. “Of course. There’s no way I’m going to pass up food.” She joked.

Lena giggled and shook her head adoringly before she led Kara to a booth. “How’s this?” Lena asked, hoping Kara would remember the significance of that specific booth.

Kara beamed as she sat down across from Lena. “Oh my god! This is the booth where I kissed you for the first time.”

Lena bit her lip and nodded as a blush crept up her neck. “Yes.” She stated. “I’ll never forget that day.”

The smile on Kara’s face was intoxicating, and Lena knew she’d do whatever it took to keep that smile on Kara’s face for the rest of her Kryptonian lifespan.

“Me either,” Kara replied. “It was one of the happiest days of my life.”

“IT was the happiest day of my life,” Lena responded. “Because that was the day I finally got the girl.”

Kara let out a laugh. “It was the day we both got the girl.”

Lena smiled and nodded her head, “I suppose it was, wasn’t it?” She laughed.

Just as they finished laughing, the waitress came to the table. “May I take your order?”

Kara scanned the menu for a second more before closing it and ordering four servings of pot stickers and a latte. Lena’s heart swelled with adoration as she remembered just how much Kara loved those things.

“I will have a kale salad and lemon water please,” Lena said politely.

Kara looked at her with disgust but stayed silent as waitress wrote everything down and ran back to the kitchen.

“You’re not human.” Kara joked.

“I believe I’m the only human at this table, Darling.” Lena joked.

Kara laughed, “Thanks for the reminder.” She teased.

 

**XXX**

The next thirty minutes were full of meaningful conversations, flirting, and laughter. Lena was in absolute euphoria, and she never wanted to come down from it.

Kara had finished her third serving of pot stickers, when she looked at Lena and smiled. “I love you.” She crooned.

Lena’s heart fluttered. “I love you too, Darling.”

They sat in silence for a moment longer before Kara spoke again. “How do you know the paparazzi won’t find us?” She asked.

Lena smiled. “Because I made every single person in this building sign a non-disclosure agreement. Our secret is safe.”

“You’re amazing,” Kara said. “I can’t believe you did all of this for me.”

“I would do _anything_ for you,” Lena replied instantly.

Kara’s face flushed again, and to Lena’s delight, she reached over the table and took Lena’s hand.  

Lena watched their hands, and almost missed Kara saying. “I think it’s time.”

Lena’s heart fell. “Time for what? Kara, if you’re leaving me because tonight has been boring, I promise it’s not over yet. I have a band that’s going to perform for us and I-,”

Kara leaned over the table and connected their lips. She pulled back a moment later and laughed. “No, silly. I’m not leaving you; I just think that it’s time that we tell Alex the truth.”

Lena felt even happier than she had. “You mean… you want to tell people about us?”

“Alex isn’t people; she’s my person.” Kara corrected. “I still want to take this slow, I don't want to read 'KarLena Reunion?' in the tabloids yet, but I think we should tell Alex and J’onn at least. I hate lying to them, especially about us.”

Lena’s heart fluttered at the way Kara called them an ‘ _us_ ’ again. She smiled and nodded her head. “Of course, yes! We can tell whoever you want!”

 

**XXX**

Alex rolled her eyes. “Well, that explains everything.” She said as she pulled Lucy into her lap. “You felt guilty for keeping it a secret from me and distanced yourself… Not cool in the least, but it makes sense.”

She eyed Lena. “I didn’t expect it to turn out this way, but since it did, I feel as though I should warn you that if you hurt her again, I will end you.”

Lena laughed, “I know, Al… I know, but trust me, if I hurt her again I’ll just wait for you because I’ll deserve it.”

Lucy smiled at Alex. “See, Babe? I told you she was fine.”

Alex chuckled. “Yeah, yeah, yeah.” She said dismissively. “Right now isn’t the moment for ‘I Told You So’s’ though,” Alex smirked.

Lena was overjoyed; the date seemed to have boosted Kara’s forgiveness because Kara grabbed Lena’s hand in front of Alex and kissed it. “I love you.” She whispered.

Lena smiled, exhilaration and joy flowing through her veins. “I love you more.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Will it be smooth sailing from here?


	17. Chapter 17

Lena watched as Kara hugged her sister goodbye and then opened the door for her. “Are you ready?”

Kara nodded and grabbed her jacket before walking out the door.

Lena followed Kara and made an attempt to hold Kara’s hand several times, but each time she got close to touching Kara’s hand, Lena yanked it back as if she were burned… She couldn’t disregard what Kara had said in the beginning…The showing of physical affection only happened behind closed doors, and there wasn’t much of it there either.

When they reached the car, Kara smiled at her. “I had fun tonight.”

Lena swallowed back her hope. “I did as well.”

Kara beamed at her and placed a chaste kiss on Lena’s forehead. “I love you, Lee.”

Lena’s insides turned to mush, and she melted into Kara. “I love you too, Kara. More than anything in the multiverse.”

Kara held her the rest of the ride, until the car stopped in front of the home Kara still shared with Sam. She sighed and frowned, looking at her feet. “Seeing her cry because of me is probably the hardest thing about this situation.”

Lena bit her lip. She hated that Sam was hurting, but she also hated that  Kara, her magnificent girlfriend, was still living with the last person she had sex with. “I could buy you a condo.”

Kara laughed. “Don’t be silly. You don’t have to do that.”

Lena nodded, knowing that she didn’t really _have_ to, but she was going to anyway… Sam shouldn’t have to live with the person that broke her heart, and Lena was still incredibly insecure no matter how much she trusted Kara… Because if she fell back into love with Sam, it would destroy her. “I know, but I want to.”

Kara shook her head and smiled sadly as she cupped Lena’s face with her hands. “I’m not with you so that you can shower me with billions of gifts.”

Lena’s heart flipped in her chest at Kara’s affirmation. “I know, Darling... but it isn’t fair to either of you to still be living together. Why don’t I help you take some of your stuff to Alex’s house for the night and tomorrow we can go condo searching.”

Kara bit her lip. “I-,” She sighed defeatedly. “Okay.”

 

**XXX**

No one was home when they went inside, so the packing process was easy, Kara grabbed the suitcase, threw her laptop, toothbrush, and clothes into it before she grabbed another one and put more clothes into it. “Think this will be enough until I get another place?”

Lena chuckled. “I think so, Darling.”

“You’re moving out?” Ruby asked from the doorway. “You’re not going to go back to Mom?”

Kara’s face fell instantly. “Rubes, your mom and I-,”

Ruby lifted her hand and shook her head. “Don’t.” She demanded. “Just take everything and go.” She wiped a tear from her eye. “I hate you. Both of you.”

The pain on Kara’s face sent guilt burn through Lena. “Kara I’m so sorry.”

Kara swallowed audibly. “Let’s get going.”

 

**XXX**

The ride to Alex’s apartment was eerily quiet. It unnerved Lena because she had no idea what was going on in Kara’s mind.

“Kara?” Lena asked gently.

“They hate me now.” Kara croaked out. “I love them, I lived with them, and then I hurt them.”

Lena’s heart broke. “I shouldn’t have said anything. You were happy with her.”

“Well now I’m going to be happy with you,” Kara countered.

Lena smiled, she loved that Kara loved her again, but something in the back of her mind still made her question why.

 

**XXX**

When they reached Alex and Lucy’s place, Lena turned her head and smiled at Kara. “May I walk you to the door?” She asked nervously

Kara looked around the street and then smiled as she nodded. “Of course.” She leaned in and placed a chaste kiss that ended far sooner than Lena wanted, on Lena’s cheek.

They both exited the Limo and began walking toward the building. She reached for Kara’s hand and remembered that they still weren’t public yet, and an overwhelming sadness took over her… Would they ever get to a place where Kara would want to go public?

The longing to hold Kara’s hand shocked her; because until she met Kara, she’d thought it was about possessiveness, screaming ‘This one is mine,’ but Kara made her understand that it was about keeping in contact, about communicating with each other by holding hands and never letting go.

She wanted that with Kara, but she knew that wasn’t what Kara wanted, so instead, she walked silently at Kara’s side, hands folded together in front of her.

They reached Alex’s door and stopped. Kara turned to Lena and put her hands on Lena’s hips as she smiled adoringly at her. “I had a great time tonight,” Kara stated happily.

Lena bit her lip and smiled. “Good enough for a goodnight’s kiss?”

Kara giggled and nodded. “Definitely good enough for a goodnight kiss.” She whispered before leaning in and connecting their lips. She pulled back far sooner than Lena liked and rested their foreheads together. “We just need a little more time, Baby. I need more time to heal, and time to get ready to deal with the tabloids 24/7 again.”

Lena nodded, inadvertently shaking Kara’s head along with her own. “I know.” She replied genuinely. “And I’m willing to wait however long it will take for you to be ready.”

Kara smiled, “Thank you, Lee. You really are the best.”

They kissed one last time, fiery and heated before Kara finally let go of Lena and went inside Alex’s apartment.

Lena sighed dreamily and smiled the widest smile she’d had in years… Everything seemed to be going well for them; Kara was being more affectionate in their alone time. So, she had hope that soon, Kara would forgive her and everything would go back to the way things were before… just better.

 

**XXX**

Her smile seemed to be everlasting because it had been three hours since their date, and her smile was as wide as ever. She got around for bed and sent Kara a text.

 **Lena:** _I hope you’ll let me spoil you more often._

She smiled when she saw the bubble pop up, indicating that Kara was in the midst of a response.

 **Kara:** _You’re still not buying me a condo, Lena. I can deal with Alex’s couch for a while. I love you._

Lena rolled her eyes, because whether Kara liked it or not, Lena was buying her a condo… perhaps even a house that she knew Kara would adore.

 **Lena:** _Whatever you say, Darling._

**XXX**

 

The next morning, Lena sat at her laptop, looking for the perfect place to buy Kara, when she noticed she had notifications from Twitter.

She decided to take a break from house hunting and check out what was happening. She opened the app, went to her notification bell and her heart dropped to the floor as she saw the headline of a Daily Planet article.

 

**KarLena Spotted Having Dinner Together; Could This Mean A Renewed Relationship?**

 

 _Shit_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What Do you think Kara will do now?


	18. Chapter 18

Lena called Kara immediately after she saw the article but was sent straight to voicemail… Which was not a good sign.

 

“Kara, please baby. If you’ve seen the article I have nothing to do with it. I have no idea how they got that picture. I’ll do whatever I have to do to make this right. I thought for sure we were safe.” She hung up as soon as she finished the voicemail and began to cry… This was not good. This was not good _at all_.

 

**XXX**

She immediately went to Alex and Lucy’s place to see if they knew where Kara was, but when the door opened, she was faced with a stoic looking Kara.

 

“You promised we were safe, Lee.”

 

Lena gulped. “I know Darling; I thought we were. Please, Kara, you have to believe me.”

 

A tear fell down from Kara’s eye. “I’m trying to trust you right now, but it’s hard, Lena.”

 

“How can I prove it to you?” Lena asked desperately.

 

Kara shrugged. “I don’t know.”

 

Lena bit her lip for a moment, trying to think of the best way to go from here. “What if I hold a press conference? I’ll tell everyone that the photo was just me trying to earn back your friendship or something. Everyone would believe that.”

 

Kara shook her head. “I don’t want to lie.”

 

Lena sighed defeatedly. “Then what do I do?” She asked distraughtly. She realized this looked bad, awful, really. She’d promised Kara complete privacy, and she ended up giving her the exact opposite.

 

“Lena, I don’t think that we sho-,”

 

“No!” Lena interrupted, refusing to listen to the rest of that sentence. “Please don’t leave me. I can’t even see myself without you next to me, Kara. So please don’t leave me or go back to her because I need you more than air.”

 

Kara stayed quiet for a few more long, agonizing moments before she spoke. “I was going to say I don’t think we’re ready to be public yet, but since we already are, I think we need to make a defensive move so that no one can profit off of us.”

 

Lena’s heart taped itself back together as she realized that Kara wasn’t leaving her. “So… you weren’t going to break up with me?”

 

Kara smiled and shook her head. “No, baby… As I said, I’m trying to trust you. And now that I see how scared you are, I’m sure it was just a random person that saw us through the restaurant window, snapped a picture, and sold it to the highest bidder.”

 

Lena’s stomach stopped churning out of fear, and she smashed Kara into a tight embrace. “I love you.”

 

Kara giggled and held her girlfriend close. “I love you too, Baby.”

 

**XXX**

Lena reread the Instagram post one last time before she posted it.

 

_Kara and I have been trying to overcome some big hurdles in our relationship at this moment; we are merely tying to see where life takes us. If it leads us to a happy ending, I will be overjoyed; if it does not, I will hope and pray that happiness finds her wherever she goes in life. However, we would appreciate it if the tabloids and news outlets would leave us out of their articles until we announce that we are together._

_With Love,_

_Lena Luthor_

She hit post and looked up from her phone to Kara. “How do you think that will go?”

 

Kara smiled and leaned in to kiss her. “You do realize that we’re together though, right?”

 

Lena bit her lip. “I was… wondering about what to call you. I didn’t want to cross a line.”

 

Kara shook her head. “We’re girlfriends, and we’ll get through this together. We always do.”

**XXX**

 

Three nights later, Lena lay awake in her bed. Her heart thumping, her breath shallow.

 

The dream had been horrible. Kara had blamed her for everything happening, said she didn’t forgive her for leaving, and proposed to Sam right in front of her… It was horrible, and the tears came fast and relentless as she cried silently in bed.

 

She knew that her fears weren’t warranted, Kara was trying furiously to forgive her, and she had broken up with Sam almost a month ago… It still didn’t stop the fear though.

 

She continued to cry for a few more minutes when she heard footsteps land on her balcony and then the door sliding open.

 

“Lena?” Kara called out, worry coating her tone.

 

Lena couldn’t speak, her tears tightening her throat.

 

Immediately the bedroom door swung open, and in came Supergirl in all her glory. “Lena!” Kara called out as she super sped to the bed. She climbed onto the bed and enveloped Lena in her arms, rocking her back and forth as she hummed a sweet melody.

 

Lena relished the love and affection, burrowing deeper and deeper into the strong body holding her. “It’s okay, baby. I’m here. Nothing can hurt you now.”

 

“You could.” Lena croaked out. “If you leave me.”

 

Kara shook her head. “That’s not going to happen, beautiful.”

 

Lena swallowed at the lump in her throat. “Promise?”

 

Kara nodded. “On Rao’s light.”

 

Lena melted into Kara even further, her body limp as Kara held her close. Her tears stopped falling, and she looked into Kara’s sapphire eyes. “I don’t know if I would have lived if you had stayed with Sam.”

 

Kara smiled at her. “Well luckily now we don’t have to find out.”

 

Lena smiled and went silent for a while, just reveling in the way it felt to cuddle with Kara again.

 

“I’m sorry I failed to keep us a secret,” Lena whispered, guilt coursing through her. “I should have picked a table that was hidden from public eye.”

 

Kara held her tighter. “It’s okay.” She whispered as she placed a kiss on top of Lena’s head. “The Instagram post seemed to work; the paparazzi hasn’t been following us around… It’s like that article was never published.”

 

Lena let out a shaky breath and asked something she was anxious and terrified of getting answered. “Do you think you’ll ever be ready to go public with us?”

 

Kara gave her a half smile. “Some day.”

 

Lena swallowed and asked another terrifying question. “Do you think you’re ever going to be able to forgive me for hurting you?”

 

Kara sighed. “I’m close, Lee... but I need more time.”

 

Lena nodded. As long as there was even a minute chance of forgiveness, she could live with that.

 

**XXX**

The next morning, Lena awoke with a surprise… A surprise she had been dreaming about for the past two years… Kara was in her bed… Holding her. She smiled as she looked over her shoulder to find Kara’s bright blue eyes smiling back at her.

 

“Morning gorgeous.” she croaked out with her sleepy voice.

 

Kara smiled. “Good morning beautiful.”

 

“Did you accidentally fall asleep?”

 

Kara smiled and shook her head. “It wasn’t an accident.”

 

Lena’s heart began palpitating with hope. “So you…” She wordlessly trailed off.

 

Kara smiled. “Lena, every time I look at you my heart stops. If I can trust my heart to you, I can trust that you aren’t going to hurt me again.”

 

Lena’s breath became shallow. “So you…” She trailed off again.

 

Kara laughed kindly and kissed Lena’s forehead. “I had a dream… a nightmare, I should say, and in that dream, we weren’t together, and we were both miserable… Then you got hurt, and I didn’t know about it because I was still with Sam and I had shunned you. Then I read your obituary online, and my heart shattered. That’s when I realized that I can’t lose you. You’re the love of my life, and although you messed up, it doesn’t change that fact. So let’s announce to the world that we’re together. Let’s hold hands and kiss in public. I don’t care anymore because I want you, and I want you in every part of my life.”

 

Lena was crying tears of joy. “Are you sure?”

 

Kara nodded. “I’m very sure.”


	19. Chapter 19

They announced their relationship the way most normal couples do… They changed their relationship on Facebook to ‘In a Relationship” with each other.

 

Twitter had blown up, KarLena started trending, and Lena was on cloud nine. She knew that she didn’t deserve this second chance, but she was infinitely grateful that Kara was giving it to her.

 

She looked up from her place on Kara’s lap and smiled. “You’re the love of my life too.” She whispered.

 

Kara beamed at her and leaned down to kiss Lena mercilessly. “Good.” She said. “Because I’m not going anywhere.”

 

Lena’s heart soared at Kara’s affirmation. “I don’t think I could live without you again, Kara.”

 

“Well, let’s not find out,” Kara replied earnestly.

 

Lena nodded. “That sounds good to me.”

 

**XXX**

Four months later, Lena was crawling out of her skin with arousal.

 

Watching Kara exercise was always arousing, but Lena hadn’t had sex with another person since before she and Kara broke up, and now that they were back together, Lena was dying with need.

 

She bit her lip and watched as Kara lifted three cars with one hand and throw them across the training room at the DEO. “ _God_ , you’re sexy.” She whispered, forgetting for a slight moment that Kara had super hearing.

 

Kara turned her head and smirked. “Oh really?” She asked before walking toward her.

 

Lena blushed and looked away as she nodded.

 

Kara giggled. “Well so are you, baby.”

 

Lena looked up and saw the love, adoration, and care in Kara’s eyes and finally felt comfortable enough to tell Kara what she wanted.

 

“I…” She paused and let out a long breath. “I hate that I’m not the last one that got to touch you, and I’d really like to make love to you.”

 

Kara cocked her head. “I thought you’d never ask.” She crooned before scooping Lena up in her arms and flying them both to Lena’s penthouse.

**XXX**

They were both of panting and sweaty when Kara finally rolled off of Lena. “ _Wow_.” She huffed. “That was…”

 

“Perfect.” Lena panted.

 

Kara giggled. “Yes… just like you.”

 

Lena looked over at her naked girlfriend and smiled. “I never thought I’d get another chance to make love to you.”

 

“Neither did I… but we just did.” She smiled. “And it was perfect.”

 

Lena nodded in agreement. “It was beyond perfect.” She reached over and pushed a stray strand of hair behind Kara’s ear. “I love you.”

 

“I love you more, beautiful.” Kara murmured.

 

Lena’s heart healed itself just a little bit more every time Kara told her that she loved her, but this time all it made her want to do was get down on one knee and propose… She wouldn’t though, because Kara had been adamant at taking things slow, and she would never do anything that would jeopardize their love once again.

 

She bit her lip and looked away trying to find the strength to ask her next question when she felt a gentle hand cup her left cheek. “What is it?” Kara asked worriedly. “What’s wrong?”

 

Lena let out a breath; her worry somewhat dissipated by the gentle touch of Kara’s hand. “I-… I was just wondering if this means you forgive me? For… you know…” She made an awkward gesture with her hand. “For abandoning you.”

 

Kara frowned. “You mean to tell me you’ve been worried the past four months that I haven’t forgiven you yet?”

 

Lena shrugged. “You never actually said you forgive me, so I didn’t know if maybe you were just… I don’t really know what I thought, all I know is that I’m terrified of fucking this up again.”

 

Kara frowned and pulled Lena into her. “Oh, _Baby_. No, of course, I forgive you. I forgave you months ago.”

 

Lena swallowed. “Promise?”

 

Kara nodded. “I promise.”

 

“I don’t want to lose you again.”

 

Kara shook her head. “Would you ever lie to me about something important?”

 

Lena shook her head reverently. “No!”

 

Kara squeezed her tighter to comfort her. “Would you ever cheat on me?”  


The mere thought of being unfaithful to Kara caused Lena to feel physically ill. “Absolutely not!”  


“Would you ever purposely try to hurt anyone?”

 

Lena frowned, not liking where the questioning was going, but refusing to withhold the answers. “I’d rather die than do any of those things.”

 

Kara smiled. “Which is exactly why you’re never going to lose me, Lena. Those are the only three things that could make you lose me, and you aren’t capable of doing any of them.”

 

Lena felt the relief over take her. She finally had Kara back, and for the first time since it all began, she felt safe in her relationship with Kara.

 

**Five Years Later**

Lena couldn’t help but smile as she saw Sam’s newest Instagram post… Sam still loathed Lena, refused to even see her for business investment opportunities, but for some reason, she hadn’t blocked her on Social media.

 

Which was why she could see that Sam and Bruce Wayne were expecting their third child. She was happy for them, she had wished that she was invited to their wedding two years ago, but she refused to stop Kara from going. Sam still loved Kara, and Kara still loved Sam, but Lena knew they had moved on, and that Kara would never do anything to hurt her, so there was no reason to worry when she had gone to Gotham for the wedding back then.

 

She missed being friends with Sam, she wished things had been different, but seeing Sam smiling as Bruce touched her stomach she knew that everything worked out for the best.

 

She let out a breath and put her phone back into her pocket before fiddling with the ring box that was in the other one.

 

That night was going to be the night that it all changed… She was still terrified that it was still too soon for Kara; because she had said they needed to take things slow, and Lena had never envisioned that they would still be in the dating stage five years later. Tonight, however, she planned to change that.

 

She continued to fiddle with the ring box until she saw Kara enter the restaurant.

 

Her heart began pounding, her mouth went dry, and her stomach wouldn’t stop churning with nerves.

 

“Hey, baby.” Kara chirped as she leaned down to kiss Lena before sitting down across from her.

 

Lena smiled at Kara. “How was work today?”

 

Kara let out a long exaggerated huff. “Being the new Snapper is exhausting.”

 

Lena chuckled. “I could only imagine.”

 

**XXX**

They had just finished their appetizers when Sweetest Devotion by Adele started playing.

 

“Oh my gosh! I love this song!” Kara yelped gleefully.

 

Lena smiled. “I know, darling.”

 

She waited for the second verse to hit before she got out of her chair and knelt before Kara. As soon as she did so, cameras started flashing all around them

 

 _I'll forever be whatever you want me to be_  
I'll go under and all over for your clarity  
When you wonder if I'm gonna lose my way home  
Just remember, that come whatever, I'll be yours all alone

 _I wasn't ready then, I'm ready now_  
I'm heading straight for you  
You will only be eternally  
The one that I belong to

 _The sweetest devotion_  
Hitting me like an explosion  
All of my life, I've been frozen  
The sweetest devotion I've known

She gestured for the band to stop and then spoke. “Kara, every single word of that song explains how I feel about you. Seven years ago I made the biggest mistake of my life and ran away from you because I wasn’t ready for you yet, but I’m here, and I’m ready now.

I promise you that no one on earth will work harder to make you happy than I will. You’re my soulmate, and I really hope that I’m yours too, because I’d look quite foolish doing this in all of these people.”

 

Kara covered her mouth, her eyes wide with tears that Lena hoped were tears of joy.

 

Lena pulled out the ring and offered it to Kara. “Kara Danvers, will you do me the incredible honor of becoming my wife?”

 

Kara took the ring and nodded furiously. “YES!”

 

-The End


End file.
